“Where did you come from, Jonathan? Do you remember?” I asked. “From your tummy,” he said.
“Do you remember what you were doing inside of Mommy?,” I asked. “Yes, I was exercising in your tummy and I played with you backbones. Remember, Mommy when you put your hand over your tummy, I was touching your hands.”
I became very interested in his story. “Where were you before you came to Mommy?” I asked. “I was living in the clouds, going around and around until I landed on you.” “What are you made from then?,” I asked. “By fire.” “Fire?, it wasn’t hot? You did not get burned?,” I asked. “No, this fire was not hot,” he said. “I was a mouth so I eat and eat; I used the fire to make my head, eyes, nose, ears, tummy, arms and legs, hands and feet, but nails last, mom.” I was so surprised what my five-year-old was telling me. “No, mom, it was not hot and I could make everything with fire, even toys,” he continued.
“Where did you sleep?,” I asked. “I slept in your brain, I just climbed up. When it was morning I came down, splashed into the water,” he said. “How did you know it was morning?” “I saw through your eyes. When you opened your eyes, I could see it was light, when you closed your eyes, I could not see anything,” he said.
“How did you eat inside mommy?,” I asked. “When I saw food come down, I started to grab it,” he answered. “Did you like whatever mom ate,” I asked. “Yes, Mommy; no spices Mommy,” he added. Maybe that was why when I was carrying him, it seemed that I was fighting over food between my mouth and tummy. I loved certain spicy Chinese foods and I enjoyed eating them. Only a little later, I threw up or my tummy didn’t feel good. If I ate heavy American food with cheese, which I had the hardest time to swallow, the food stayed and I felt better afterward. Now I know why.
“How did you know it was the time to come out?,” I asked. He said, “I just knew it was time to push and get out; I pushed and I pushed.” “Was it hurting when you pushed?,” I asked. “No, it was not hurting,” he said. I could not help telling him that I was hurting; it really hurt. He said, “oh.” He did not know it hurt me. “What did you see when you came out?,” I asked. It was amusing that he saw my legs, then the doctor, then his dad.
“Where are you going then?,” I asked. He only knew that he was a little boy now. He didn’t know where he was going. I told him that he was going to grow up and someday have his own kids just like Mommy and Daddy, then he would get old like Nana and die someday. He became so quiet and I thought that I scared him. I went over to check him and he was sound asleep.
Later on, I asked him the same questions over and over again. He told similar stories that he was in the clouds before he came to me. It was like he was a real entity all along and had a mind of his own, yet still connect with me and depended upon me. While inside of me, he seemed to have learned something from me. When he saw my father for the first time, he told me that he met him before, but not my brother or sister even though they were all in the pictures that I showed to him.
He described the apartment building that was in my dreams often. He told me it was a red brick building. He was never there because we moved before I came to the US to a new apartment building that in my dream I was never able to find. I have always dreamed about the red brick building where I spent my teenage life
I tried to ask my two other sons the same questions when they were five years old. I did not get much from Richard because he did not remember, Joe was able to tell me that he was a soldier. He described the battlefield like an old movie. I had some strange violent dreams when I was pregnant with Jonathan, it was an ancient bloody war. All the men were fighting with swords. Somehow I saw my grandmother was killed. The doctor said it is common for pregnant woman to have war dreams.
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