The Fear of a Big Earthquake

In the summer of 1976, there was a big earthquake in northeast China which registered above 7.8 on the Richter Scale. Most people in the city of Tangshan (唐山) died in the early morning earthquake. We felt the earthquake even though we were far away in the southwest of the country. My province is in a known earthquake zone with a lot of geological faults. Some predicted an earthquake in my province also. People started to become very nervous. Few went to work. Shelters were being built everywhere where there was open space because everyone was afraid of the brick apartment buildings. My parents’ institute set up a tent in an open field for its employees. We had two double beds where we stayed at night. My grandma was with us in the tent. There were a few aftershocks at night which some people felt, but I was asleep. One day we went back to our apartments for some things; I felt the floor move and my uncle reacted fast, saying “Earthquake.” We started to run downstairs from the third floor. It was only an aftershock and the only one that I felt.
     When everything returned to normal and there were no more aftershocks, there was a documentary at the institute’s theater. The movie was about the big earthquake in the northeast, for research purposes. Only adults could go in. I was about 15 years old and was really interested in seeing the movie too. So, I took my mom’s work clothes and a hat and coat. The scenes of the movie were horrifying. The whole city was leveled like after a major war. It was interesting to know that most tunnels were in perfect shape and a lot of coal miners survived. The homes with basements also did better than those without. It was said that the houses with basements blended in with the earth and became one unit.
     Not only did millions die from this natural disaster; the Chinese government’s three most important leaders including Chairman Mao also died that year. Some said it was because of the “year of the dragon.” The year 1976 became our country’s turning point as well as mine.
     I knew this movie "Aftershock".  I did not have courage to watch this movie because so many of people I knew and worked with died in 2008 Sichuan Earthquake. I worked in the area 4 years before I came to the US in 1986. Frank recommended me to watch this movie after he and his wife watched it. Great one!

Aftershock (Tangshan Dadizhen) 

Tangshan Earthquake

2008 Sichuan earthquake

My Grandma Came to Chengdu

I spent a lot of time with my grandmother in my high school years. She moved in with us because her health was failing and no one could keep an eye on her in the daytime. My parents had better health coverage for her (covered both kids and grandparents in China back then), working for the oil company.  Capital Chengdu had better hospital and better doctors.  My oldest cousin has graduated from high school and went to the farm to learn everything from the farmers.
     I told her that I would take care of her before and after school. She said that she came to live with us because she missed me. Her health was up and down. When she was in good health, I was surprised that she could sing. When I asked her what she was singing, she would stop and said I would not understand. She also read a few words in the newspaper. She told me that her childhood was so wonderful, much better than mine because she did not have any chores or homework.
     My grandmother was the youngest and only daughter in the family. She had nine older brothers. She was from a wealthy landowner family. As a girl, she stayed home to learn all the necessary things that girls learned, such as needlework. Meanwhile, her brothers went to school to study. She enjoyed going to see the opera everyday. She felt that life was easy for her because she didn’t have any duties. She was loved by her family and was free to do whatever she wanted. I asked her why did she didn’t go to school with her brothers. I said that I would. I would disguise myself as a boy to go to school like the girl (Zhou Ying-Tai) in the “Butterfly Lovers” (梁山伯与祝英台) who disguised herself to go to school and a woman (Mu-Lan 花木蘭) who disguised herself as a man to fight in wars as a “woman warrior.” She laughed and said those were just stories.

“Butterfly Lovers” (梁山伯与祝英台)

     When it came time for her marriage (she was about 15 years old), her parents had to prepare almost everything. At that time, women were so low in value. To marry a man, women had to contribute a dowry—many things such as furniture and bedding in order to become equal in value to the man. Of course, it was also important for both the man’s and woman’s families to be of equal class. She was the youngest of ten children and the only girl from her family. My grandmother’s parents searched and chose the man to be my grandmother’s husband. The man’s parents agreed and sent some gifts and the bridal wedding crown and gowns, and set a date for them to be married. The two were not allowed to see each other until after the marriage. When the date arrived, the groom’s party of one dozen men, came to the bride’s house with carriages and musicians to take the bride in a carriage. The bride’s face was covered to make sure that she didn’t see what was going on and where she was going. Along with her carriage were other carriages with furniture or other valued goods, and musicians playing music like a parade. Listening to my grandmother tell her story with a pride, I felt like I was watching a boring old movie all over. I just couldn’t let my grandmother continue, “that’s not fair, why did you have to be carried to his house with so many things? I would put him in a carriage and have him taken to my house. How can you marry someone without knowing the person?” She said, “you are never getting married like that.” I said, “I will never get married if all that is necessary.” She said, “Then people will laugh at you all your life. You would be the woman no one wants.”
     My grandmother said her life changed completely after she was married. She became a mother with children to care for, plus my grandfather who was bedridden. One custom changed since her childhood. Thanks to Empress Cixi,  her girls didn’t have to wrap their feet anymore and they all could go to school. She sent all of her children to school. They were all doing well at school. One cousin though got a perfect grade one semester. He was so excited and jumped up and down with his brothers and sisters. He fell and broke one of the bones in his back; the injury became infected, and then he died. My grandmother had five children then including the oldest boy, two girls in the middle, and my youngest uncle, the next boy died from pneumonia. My youngest uncle was around five at the time so my grandmother decided to give her baby’s breast milk to my youngest uncle. She nursed my uncle till she got pregnant again with my youngest aunt.
     At that time, my grandfather owned a salt well company with two other men. Their business was good until my grandfather’s health went downhill. He got severe arthritis from work. Finally, he was paralyzed when he was 30 years old. One day, the other two men ran off with all of the company’s money. My grandfather had to sell the business. When the man of the house falls, you could imagine what happened to my grandmother with wrapped little feet. (I never questioned this story until I turned 50 years old).
     One of my grandpa’s brothers backed out of supporting my oldest uncle to go to college, even though he had very high scores on the college entry exam. My oldest uncle went to work for a salt company; he could have been working for his own family’s company if ours was still around. Now, he was working for someone else. He started as a house servant first, then earned trust from the owner. Eventually he was headmaster and an accountant for the salt company. He worked very hard and took every penny home.
     Everyone in the family tried their best. My mother and aunts helped my grandmother cook and wash clothes before and after school. They did not have any lunch while studying in school. My grandmother wove to make her own clothes and the school boy and girl scout uniforms for her children. She dyed them green with natural herbs found on the hill not far from our home. Their life was a struggle but was going fine.
     My grandfather’s oldest brother also contributed money for food for a period of time. But my grandmother swallowed a lot of sorrow from her sisters-in-laws. They looked down on her and her children because they didn’t have anything fancy, and sometimes they ignored her and her family as part of the clan.
     Maybe because of my grandfather’s ill fortune, we did not suffer after the communists took over China. Our family became closer and everyone stuck together, helping each other and always thinking of others first. When I was ten years old or so after we moved back to Chengdu with my mom, my aunt Ju-Ming was also in Chengdu working for the Geological Institute. It took us about one hour to walk to her home and then an hour for the return trip home. Whenever we had something good to eat such as a chicken, my mom cut the chicken in half and put it in a basket with a few other goods from around the house. Then my brother and I carried the basket and walked to my aunt’s house to give it to her family. We usually stayed for dinner and then walked back home. Her husband would ride his bike to deliver whatever goodies they had. My mom always saved her best things for her sister instead of using them herself. For example, my father bought a pair of fur winter boots for my mom when he was on a business trip in northern China. My mom gave them to my aunt; my aunt gave them back to my mom; my mom gave them back to her again, and the boots just sat there for a few years without anyone wearing them; finally, my aunt wore them.
    My grandmother had very different views with me about landlords and private owners. I was told in school that they were all bad blood-suckers. She said her brothers were landlords and hired a lot of people to work on the farm. She used to help in the kitchen cooking for the farmers in the field when she wanted to talk to them. She said her hands hurt when she had just cleaned piles and piles of vegetables that were prepared for the farmers’ lunch. The farmers got fair pay and raised their families just like everyone else. They were not suffering like I was told in school; they were grateful to be able to work. The communists came along and took everything away from them, turned private land into public land, and they put her brothers on public display and treated them like animals. Another brother of hers was a local doctor who was famous for setting broken bones back into place. People walked miles and miles away to see him, sometimes with money, sometimes without. He helped them all. She also learned how to set broken bones, but only for her family members since she was a woman. I told her that her family was an exception. Our school field trip took us to one of the biggest landlord Liu Wen Cai (刘文彩)’s family courtyards. It displayed his torture chambers and how the landlord treated people and it was very bad. My grandmother could not believe it and I thought my grandmother did not have education to read the news. Now I know she was right; it was a man-made story for China’s land reform.  Any ruler would have to do the same since China had to start from Ground Zero, the ones who had ended up paying.

Moving into Apartment Buildings

Our courtyard soon was transformed into big office buildings for the Oil Company. We moved into high rise apartment buildings right behind the Institute where my parents’ worked. We were on the 3rd floor. Above on the 4th floor was the Lu (呂) family who had four handsome boys, and Zhang (张) Liqin who was my middle school girl friend. Across from us was the Li family (a Manchu),  the parents were my parents’ classmates in College. Under us were two Liu families who were important leaders in the institute as well. My earlier girlfriend Yang Wei-lin from grammar school in Nanchong where my mom worked was on the 5th floor. Her parents moved to Chengdu a little later. We were in different classes but in the same school. We became best friends again. We used to go shopping together and we chatted about this and that.
     Her grandfather was living with her family. He received his Ph.D. from in the United States in the 1920’s. I admired him very much. Of course, I also admired and respected my uncle who went to Russia. I dreamed that someday I would go abroad and see the world. I used to ask her grandfather about English. He would only tell me “right” or “wrong.” I used to ask him “why?” He told me, “there is no why.” Wei-lin used to tell me that he always talked to himself and no one knew why, and not to be surprised if he gave me the wrong answer. I was very curious about what he was talking about. Whenever he did not have anything to do, he was talking to God. I was amazed that he could pray for so long. Every time I saw him, he was in his world talking like we were not there.
     He told us one day how he received a scholarship to go to the United States and how well he did while he was there. After he came back, he had so much money he bought a whole block of the street as property. He was trying to tell us to study so we could go abroad too. Wei-lin was telling him that times had changed. The Communists had taken everything away from him except for his little shed behind the printing factory. I was shocked that he used to own all that property including the printing factory. Then Wei-lin turned to me and said, “the other day, someone on a bike hit him; he fell to the ground while carrying the eggs he just bought. When he first got up, you know what were his first words were, ‘you broke my eggs and you have to pay me back.’ The young man was glad to give him ten Yuan and ran. He said it only cost him two-Yuan and he was trying to give him change. Now he was complaining his back hurt and he refused to go to the hospital.”
     When the Cultural Revolution ended, Wei-lin’s grandfather’s name was cleared; he did not even know what it was in the first place. He also received some compensation. Although my grandfather lost everything his severe arthritis actually saved us from all those troubles.

Chengdu Lei Wu High School (成都列五中学)

Chengdu Number Five High School was founded by Zhang Lei Wu (张列五) in 1904. He was born in Longchang (隆昌), part of Neijiang. (Former name was 叙属中学). He was in charge of Sichuan’s army (蜀军政府都督) and was killed trying to get rid of Yuan Shikai (袁世凯) in Tianjin (天津). Next to the high school, there was a double well not far from Ba Jing’s (巴金) home where Ba Jing spent his first 15 years in the Li Family Courtyard (李家院子) and his real name was Li Yaotong (李尧棠).
        The first year of high school was political as usual. We had military training for two weeks before we began so that everyone would be disciplined. We were excited that we had one chance to shoot with a real gun after two weeks of practice. My three shots weren’t bad compared to some of the others who missed the target completely. It was the second time for me to use a real gun. Class was easy because we spent a lot of time studying the government’s new guidelines. I soon joined a communist youth group as a sign that I was not just there for good grades. This was called “two red” not just “one.” I was elected as vice president of our class. The class president was a boy call Li (李) Cho Yuan. He was a very good public speaker. As vice president, I did not do much since he did almost everything.
     Like our middle school, boys and girls usually didn’t socialize except during class discussions. However, we did have one girl in our class who was known as “a bad girl.” She didn’t have good grades or the correct attitude toward political issues. Instead, she liked to dress up sexy with high heels and tight pants, walking while swinging her butt while passing boys. Good students simply ignored her. A few bad boys would just stop whatever they were doing, watch her and joke with her in a very low manner. She didn’t care. She was proud of herself.
    I was surprised one day when a girl in my class asked me to lend her some money so that she could buy some clothes that she liked so much. I said, “you have your own money? You don’t earn money since no student works. She said that she had an allowance to cover her personal things. I told her that I never had an allowance. I had some money most of the time, but that was for the family’s groceries. On the way home from school, I would buy some vegetables or if I saw some other food item that was good. She simply laughed at me -- was that why my clothes were always out of fashion? – because I never bought them myself? When my pants and sleeves became short, I had sewn different color cloths on the hems to extend them since my grandma had taught me how to mend. I thought that I did a very good job mending those holes. But I knew that there were a few making fun of me. I didn’t know what about so I just ignored them.
    When I was with my girlfriends in class, I was not very good at girls’ subjects. Very quickly, I could change the conversation to the subjects, which interested me. At that time, I was interested in the universe. I told them about the things I read about including the solar system and the unknown universe. I felt that we humans were so small and helpless. I would rather be a planet or a star. Human society, government, teachers, everyone always told us that we are in charge of the earth. We could change the world. We are so small if we rise above the earth. The girls in my class had no interest; they gave me a nickname “Doctor Han.” I gradually learned that I had nothing in common with most girls in my class.

穿越成都气质

 



My First Turning Point

The last year of middle school (eighth grade) was one very important turning point for me. At that time, China’s Cultural Revolution was still happening. Chairman Mao wanted all of the high school graduates to go to the farms, to learn survival experience. Since 80% of the people in China were farmers, naturally, most high school graduates went to the farm to live just like them, to be self-sufficient. All of the universities in the country became “factory worker, peasant, and soldier colleges.” Each university had a few factory workers, peasants, or soldiers who usually didn’t have a college education themselves in charge of administration. All the professors who spoke out against the government were sent to the farm to work. The whole education system changed. There were no entry examinations. The high school graduates who worked on the farm, factory, or army base and met the local leader’s approval for excellence were then sent to college for higher education. People said that the criteria to go to college was not how high your grades were but how thick the calluses were on your hands or if your leaders felt that you were the one.
     Most city-raised high school graduates who did not even know crops and weeds had to learn everything from scratch. To stay in the field from daybreak until dusk seven days a week, 365 days a year, was already impossible. Not only did the local farmers spend a lot of time teaching them how to farm, by the end of the harvest season, you could imagine how much the city kids could harvest from their own farms. Naturally, they had to eat. Most of their parents in the city sent whatever possible to support their kids on the farms, not to mention that the parents did not have extra to start with. They collected from relatives, friends, and colleagues. A few city kids on the farms gradually became problematic to the local farmers. They stole the farmers’ crops and livestock. Of course, there were some successful stories also. City kids completely blind to farming brought their limited high school education to the farm and made a lot of progress on the farm.
     In my parents’ oil institute, every other year or every three years, there were openings for employees’ children who were over 16 years old. General rules considered the oldest child first, then the second, and so on. Usually they put the kids together for a period of intensive training then sent them to different oil fields or to local petroleum institutions. That could still be harsh but compared to farming, it was still better because of the guaranteed salary and benefits. Best of all, my parents got the inside story that the next time would be the year after next. Their institute would keep all of the quality kids in the institute instead of sending them away to lower or far away oil fields. This kind of chance didn’t come very often. Like many other parents in the institute, my parents wanted me to stay home to wait for one year and to work with my parents in the same institute since I was the oldest. I had the best chance. But if I went to high school, I would be disqualifying myself even if I quit after one year of high school. I would put myself in with the rest of the world, and go to the farm to become a farmer even though I didn’t have any idea about the hardships, only admiration for those who changed the poor remote villages.
     I could not bear the fact that in my life, I would not have a high school diploma, even though I knew how to study and get the equivalent. What was I going to do in my parents’ geological institute without a high school diploma while they had trained as geologists in Northwestern University? My uncle and aunts all had their college degrees. I always dreamed that I would do better. Maybe someday, like my uncle, I would go abroad to study, to bring a Ph.D. home.
     Just when it was time to make the decision, my father was gone on a business trip. It was decided that I, like my girlfriend Zhang (张) Liqin should not continue to high school but stay home, and wait one year to work in our parents’ institute. If I went to high school, I would lose my qualification. I told my teacher my parents’ decision. I couldn’t do anything but be disappointed. My teacher decided to visit my home and my girlfriend’s home to see whether he could make a difference. My teacher and my mom talked for hours that night until midnight. We all knew that scientists were mistreated at that time during “the Cultural Revolution.” The more you studied the more you knew, and the worse place you could be. But my teacher sharply pointed out that this kind of situation could not last forever. The knowledge that I would learn would be mine; no one could take it away. Without education, I could only be a laborer all my life. Finally, my mom said that she couldn’t change the decision that she and my father made. My father wouldn’t be back for another month and the school needed the decision immediately in order to transfer my records to the Number 5 High School (列五中学) since summer vacation would start the next day. My teacher said that if my mom would like to discuss it with my father again after he came home, he would make a special delivery just for me to the high school during summer vacation.
     The moment my father came home, I brought the forms to my parents and asked them to sign and allow me to continue my education at high school. My mom did not want to discuss it and blamed me for bothering them since my father just came home, so I started to cry and cry. I felt so low because I would not get a chance to earn a high school diploma. I would probably end up as a janitor, cleaning all my life. I hated cleaning. While I cried, I heard my parents discussing in their room. I don’t know how long I cried at my desk in my room until my father came to my room and asked why I cried so hard. I told him that I wanted to go to high school. He told me that I could go if I wanted. Then I let him sign the papers. He said, “okay, go to sleep. You could go to school tomorrow and turn in the forms.” Suddenly, I felt all my blood rush up to my head. I was so dizzy and excited. I couldn’t go to sleep right away.

My Grandma's Summer Breakdown

During one summer vacation from middle school, I, as the oldest, took my brother, sister and two of my cousins to my grandma’s place by train. My mom Ju Fen (举芬) and my aunt Ju Min (举铭) sent us on the train at one end; my youngest aunt Ju Hua (举华) picked up us at the other end. It was a ten-hour journey. I really enjoyed the train ride because it made me feel that I was the head of the family. The rest had a great time on the train too. We counted the tunnels and bought a little local special at each stop through the window.
     My youngest aunt brought us to my oldest uncle’s (举晶)apartment where my grandma stayed. Fortunately, it was summer so we could camp on the floor. There were five of us intruding on my aunt and uncle’s two bedroom apartment, plus three of her own children and my grandma. Now as a mother myself, I understood how much extra work that we brought upon my aunt. She was working full-time like most moms in China. Just to put food on the table to feed eight children and three adults was already a full-time job since we had only raw materials, e.g., live chickens, ducks, and so on. My aunt was famous as an excellent, fast, efficient, and economical food chef in our family. Her dishes were the most delicious.
     My grandma never liked her daughter in-law even though she was great and very helpful. I don’t remember seeing any arguments between them. Only one day, my grandma was not herself. Suddenly, she could not recognize me, asking me who I was and she wanted me go home. Her mind was off for one day because she had not slept for a few days; now, I knew the obvious reasons, it was my underwear. My uncle gave her some sleeping pills and told us to be quiet so my grandma could sleep. She did sleep a very long time. When she awoke, she was like herself again. I was surprised that she did not remember anything she said before. I was just curious to try to understand the whole thing. My aunt told me, “don’t ask those questions.”
     It was embarrassing for me that I didn’t have any good underwear. They were worn and had holes in them. Every night after bathing, I washed them and hung them to dry. I tried to hang them in less obvious places so no one would see them. My aunt, of course, saw them and she made two new ones on her sewing machine. That, of course, caused my grandma to be embarrassed too because my mother was her daughter. By making me new underwear, my grandmother felt that my aunt was trying to show she was better than her daughter. She could just buy new underwear for me if she knew I needed new ones.
     She decided to teach me how to mend clothes by hand, how to mend the holes especially in socks. She could not see my stitches, but she could feel them by hand. She said that was how she learned when she was young. To feel it was a good embroidery on silk, you could feel with your hands. She even opened the big chest by her bed to show me extraordinary embroidery on silk she did when she was young before she married. She could not embroider anymore because of her failing sight. She also showed me all of her gold, silver, and jade jewelry and some fine China. She wanted to carry the chest full in her coffin when she died. I did not care that much for her jewelry because they all looked old and boring. I did admire so much the embroideries on silk. They looked so beautiful and delicate. I asked who could teach me to do that. She said none of her daughters learned because they all went to school. When she was a girl, only boys went to school; she stayed home and learned the art of embroidery. But she did not learn how to make clothes or shoes since there were always helpers in the house. She had to learn how to mend by herself after her husband could not work anymore.
     I was the caregiver for my brother, sister, and two of my cousins, especially outside during the daytime when my aunt and uncle were at work. We had to finish our homework first before playing. I had to make sure my cousins finished their homework too. Then we went out to play. When it was time, I had to take them home. One day when it was time to go home, my sister refused and I had to carry her in my arms during the steaming hot day. She was trying to get down. I was trying to hold her and walk home without tripping. She was yelling and fighting. Suddenly, I bit her on her arm and she screamed. She stopped fighting and let me carry her home. She didn’t eat her lunch, and she fell asleep instead. She looked so peaceful and I saw the blue teeth marks of mine. I felt so bad and shocked that I could do such thing to my baby sister. I sat beside her for a long time, and watched and wished the teeth marks on her arm would disappear when she woke up. I felt even worse that when she woke up she did not even complain, like nothing had happened. The blue teeth marks were deeply imprinted in my mind. Every time I lost my tempter, I learned to back off instead of reaching the boiling point.

My New Girlfriends

During my middle school years, I had a friend Wei (魏) who had two brothers and two sisters. Two of her siblings were twins. Her father worked for the shipping company, he hurt his back so he could not work like before. Her mother worked in a small clothing factory. Her parents thought that they couldn’t afford to raise her. She was the third child. Her parents gave her away to their neighbor who had several kids. Later on, her parents’ finances improved and she came back home; then, her twin brother came and they were poor again. I used to feel sorry for her. Wei was one of the poorest families in our class. Her family lived in a neighborhood that was not very good. I used to help her out by giving her food or some items we didn’t need. I am not saying that we were rich, but better off since my parents worked for the Oil Company, we had good benefits, including good housing in a better neighborhood. My friend’s family only had one room. She used to visit our house with her twin brother and I used to go to her home sometimes too.
     One thing that I wasn’t happy about was that she had a neighbor girlfriend who had a bad name in school. One day, she told me something that shocked me. Even though I was 13 years old, we didn’t have any knowledge about sex. “Condoms” were free at any drug store. There was a Chinese herbal store on the corner of our street. Like other kids, my brother and I used to take them from a small box hanging close to the door. We preferred colorful balloons, but it was difficult to find balloons anywhere even with money. So we filled them with water or simply blew them up like balloons. We thought that if there was no tip, it would be just like a white balloon.
     Her girlfriend said that in order for our parents to have us, they had to have sex. We did not have Sex Education in school.  But “sex” was such a “dirty” word. I objected, I said, “no, no, not my parents. I think you spend too much time with that bad girl. Some day, you will be bad too.” She was not happy about that.  One event that really broke our friendship was one incident during a Ping-Pong game. One day during the break between classes (the break was usually 15 minutes), I was playing Ping-Pong with other classmates. She came along with another person. Of course, the rule was to wait for your turn but she knew that it wouldn’t be her turn until class started again. So she came to the table with the other girl and said, “let’s divide the table in half. Four of us could play at the same time.” She started to do so and completely ignored our objections. I felt so humiliated and put down the racket and ball and walked away. I stopped talking to her. A few days later, she told me that she was very sorry about that. Even her mother said that she should apologize to me. I did say, “Okay, I will forgive you” but from my heart, she was not my best friend anymore.
     I began to be interested in the balance beam and single bar. Several other girls in my class were interested also. Parents of two of them also worked in the same institute as my parents. We did all kinds of things on the balance beam including somersaults. We competed one on one -- one person on each side of the balance beam. The new person told the incumbent what to do on the balance beam. If the incumbent didn’t know how to do it, she lost before the game started. Another girl would then be the new person and the former new person then became the incumbent. If both persons knew what to do, then the game finally would start. Both of the persons would finish the feat, jump down and then run to the other side of the balance beam to catch the other. If no one caught another, they switched sides and the same game began again. They did this until one of the persons became so tired to be caught by the other. Then another new person would challenge the incumbent, and so on. We fell and got bruised a lot. We were able to do almost anything on the balance beam since our bodies were so flexible.  Overall, I was good at climbing and gymnastics. I wasn’t very good at speed or long distance running. I barely passed those.
     One of my middle school friends was from my grammar school, her name was Li Hua Lei (李); her parents were actor and actress in the local theater, and we usually called Hua Lei. I used to go watch her parents play on stage. She was good at acting too; she directed our annual class performance. My other girl friend Zhang (张) Liqin was big and tall and so were her family members. She lived next to our courtyard and her parents worked in the same oil institute with my parents. We played after school or sometimes just had some wild discussions about mysteries. The discussions were due to a two year old little girl in her yard who was struck by a palm tree and died. She was the only child they had. One day she was playing in the yard by herself, and a few feet away four other kids were playing chess. This small palm tree fell on her. She was so cute and so sweet every time her grandmother had taken her to visit our yard. We didn’t have anyone die in our yard except Mr. Li’s niece. She came to play a few times. She was supposed to be a few years older than us—15 or 16 years old, but she looked about seven or eight years old instead. My neighbors told us that she died from the mystery fever that she had on and off.
     Death was for the first time something on my mind, something we couldn’t change. So my girlfriend and I discussed it. The worst thing was that we wouldn’t know what was going on any more, and would be forgotten. I offered the solution that if we do something extraordinary, people will remember us after we die. But not knowing what was going on, we could not find the solution.