Working in a Chinese Restaurant

After getting my work permit . I started working as kitchen help at a small Sichuan restaurant on Friday nights. I took a city bus, then a long distance bus there and the owners drove me home after they closed the restaurant at night. Since I came from Sichuan, I found their food close to home. I helped Mr. Huang (黄) in the kitchen while his wife Liu (刘) waited on tables in the restaurant. When it wasn’t busy, he would cook something special for us to eat while we chatted. Mr. Huang said that he walked two months from Sichuan to join his father before they fled to Taiwan when Chiang Kai-shek lost in 1949. There he met his wife, a native Hakka Taiwanese. Soon his family lost hope there and then immigrated to the US in the 1960’s. They worked hard and saved enough money in New York City. Then, they came to Syracuse and opened their own restaurant. For me, especially working inside the kitchen, I found them to be very honest, kind people. They had two children in New York City. They were younger than I was. They treated me as a family member, making the restaurant my Chinese home. Whenever I missed home, whenever it was Chinese New Year, or the Moon Festival, I would go to join them.
     I knew that they didn’t like Chiang Kai-shek. I was not interested in Chiang Kai-shek or any politics which was why I never joined communist party. One day while I was in the restaurant, we heard on the radio that Chiang Kai-shek’s son had died in Taiwan. The only comment from Mr. Huang was that everyone has to die no matter who you are. Time plays no favorites. Death is equal to everyone, no matter how powerful you are. He said the leaders were all the same. Chairman Mao and Chiang Kai-shek were the same and they were cold blood killers. They did not say anything more. I could only guess.
      His wife was a native Taiwanese, her family members must have died from the 228 Massacre that began on February 27, 1947 when Chiang Kai-shek took over the island. There were many generals who lost favor or found it was very difficult to make a living. A huge wave came to America.
     After losing the Opium War, First Sino-Japanese War (1894–1895), the Qing Emperor had to give up Taiwan and Penghu to Japan in 1895. Anti-Japanese forces were crushed in 1920s. Taiwanese slowly accepted the Japanese since Taiwan’s economy advanced and the standard of living for most Taiwanese people was raised. The Taiwanese were proficient in both Taiwanese (Hakka language from Fujian) and Japanese languages, and they kept their own identity.
     Chiang Kai-shek’s Kuomintang (KMT) liberation troops were initially welcomed by the local Taiwanese. Their corruption and economic failure resulted in civil disorder and open rebellion that lasted for days. The uprising was stopped violently. Ten- to thirty thousand people or more were killed. Mr. Huang’s father was a general under the KMT, so he must have lost faith and left the island.

I worked at the restaurant on the weekends; Mrs. Huang served as a waitress and her husband cooked in the kitchen

It became my Chinese home.  I took Jonathan there for Chinese New Year and whenever we want to eat real Chinese food.

Starting Graduate School

After I finished registering, I went to see my major professor for the first time. He was a new young professor who just came to the college from Kentucky a year before. He was very friendly. He thanked me for the tea that I sent via a friend of mine who came for an international symposium at the college a month prior to my arrival. I brought more gifts for him and his wife (more than 2 months of my salary). Then he showed me my office where I met Porter and Mark. Later, he gave me a tour of the building.
     The next morning, he came to my office with a big shopping bag full of clothes. He said that his wife liked the the silk I gave to her so much that she was going to make a dress. I told him the silk was for a bed cover, but if she wanted, she could make a dress. Then he said, “here, Ying, these are my wife’s clothes that do not fit her anymore after she had a baby. I think they will fit you.” I was shocked that he was giving me his wife’s used clothes. I had never worn anyone else’s clothes all my life. He noticed my face and said, “why don’t you try them and choose the ones you like? I am sure other graduate students would love to have whatever you do not want.” I would be too embarrassed to give the used clothes to someone else.  It took me a while to get used to the idea; I did try on some of the clothes and he was right.  They fit me perfectly, especially a scarlet sweater, only it was not made of wool (so it was not warm enough). Eventually I donated all of the clothes to the Salvation Army. I was laughing at Clinton (Net worth: $55 million) who claimed a tax deduction on a pair of shorts that he donated to Good Will many years later. 10 Richest Presidents
     The next shocking thing was he said, “Ying, I am nobody, you have to make me famous. Look at Yi Li (李) who made his professor so famous. You have to help me become famous too.” “What?  You must be joking.  The first teacher in my whole life requests his student to make him famous.  I was hoping you would help me, so I can learn as much as possible here.”  My teachers consistently reminded us since day one of our school that he wanted his students “青出于蓝而胜于蓝” which means “we learned from him; we have to be better than him.” He wanted to help his students became famous. Otherwise, he would not be a good teacher. It would be a failure not only to him, but also to a whole generation. Our parents held the same view.
     My professor then said that he had submitted a proposal for a research grant to study old growth forests in the Adirondacks. This way he could offer me a research assistantship since he knew that I didn’t have much money. I told him that I had two years of support. I wanted to use the money to study something new, for example, computers, programming, and statistics to handle large amounts of data. Each year in the subalpine forest ecosystem station I worked in the western part of China, we collected so much data. I wanted to learn how to manage them. I heard from some Chinese students that they finished their master’s degree in one year in the computer field. My professor told me that one year was not possible even for American students, plus it would take time for field trips. We would try three years. I did not expect that I need three years to finish a MS degree since I had only two years money.
     Finally, I met Yi Li (李), a Chinese postdoctoral student in the biochemistry department across the Hall. He confirmed what my professor said to me. He was under his professor over 8 years and published many papers.  He said that I needed to change my major while I had my own money. There was no future and no jobs in my field. I explained that I was not planning to stay in the US, and I needed to go back to my institute after I finished here. He laughed and said one day that I would regret it, and not to forget that he had warned me. He and his wife left a year later to become an assistant professor in one of the Midwest colleges.
     It was very hard in the first year, suddenly dropping into American classes. I was the only foreigner in class, not to mention the culture shock and language barrier. All the teachers treated me just like everyone else as if I was one of them. On the other hand, I was hoping to get extra help before or after the classes. I was so used to crowds in China. People were everywhere, in front of you, behind you. Now, I felt scared to walk to school everyday because it was so quiet. I was the only person walking on the street. I felt like someone could come out of nowhere and grab me and no one would be around to help me. I thought that my English was good before I had arrived. Now, I found that I couldn’t express myself clearly. My professor and classmates couldn’t understand what I was trying to say; they were just telling me they did not get it. I became very quiet and just listened, hoping to understand. It was more difficult in classes. I could only catch a word here or there even after I had read the textbook the night before. There was no way to take notes. Porter allowed me to borrow his notes after class. Still, I had to translate most technical words into Chinese before I understood everything and I couldn’t find a lot of terms in my Chinese botanical dictionary. Finally, I bought an English botanical dictionary to better understand. I also took undergraduate English courses.
     I had to pay out of state tuition as an international student. Only had about $400/month left to cover everything else.  Textbooks were so expensive. Each one cost me close to one hundred dollars. I took four subjects, which amounted to twelve credit hours as full time student. For the first time in my whole life, I did not have enough money to cover my basic needs and my parents could not help me because Chinese money worth nothing. 
     The expenses were completely different. In China, my salary each month was not much but I didn’t have to buy anything except clothing or whatever I wanted. I stayed home with my parents most of the time, sometime I stayed in my dorm in institute. I was never concerned that I didn’t have enough spending money. The workplace in China provided housing, dinning and health care. Here, paying rent and utilities was new to me. They accounted for most of my allowance.  Filing tax return was also new to me.   We were paid cash every month then I deposited most of them in the bank. 
     On the other hand, TV commercials, newspaper ads, and junk mail made things so irresistible. I basically had to tell myself, “no, no,” all the time for not absolutely essential things, except for what applied to my studies.  I was shocked how many credit card companies wanted to give me credit.  I did have money in my bank account, but it was for my two years tuition.  I did not want to get any credit cards because I did not have money to pay the money back, not to mention the high interest.
     Most students here found a room without sharing with others. The visiting scholars, though, were usually older with families back in China. They usually stayed for a shorter time, one or two years. For example, one professor was a well-known person in his field in China. He stayed here for one year. He received about five thousand dollars total as his allowance from the Chinese government. By the time he left, he saved about three thousand dollars and he bought a computer, refrigerator, and camera to take home. We couldn’t figure out how he could possibly do it. He said that he only bought chicken at its lowest price (39 cents per pound) and rice (20 lbs. for about ten dollars), and cabbage (15 to 20 cents per pound). That is all he ate all year. He also shared a room with other visiting scholars at $ 50 per month. The money saved in a year allowed him to buy things that he couldn’t afford to buy with his salary in China. He sacrificed for one year.
     The second month, our department had its annual picnic. It was to be potluck. I asked my professor what to bring or what people would like to eat. He told me to bring whatever food we usually ate in China, to just bring enough food for ten people.  People would be interested in trying it. I told him that it would be hot. He said, “that’s Okay. Just give us the original so we could try real Chinese food instead of American Chinese food.” I cooked a few dishes; spicy beef and cabbage were my favorite.
     It was the first time for me to go out in the country. The park was the highest point of view over the city, and it was autumn. It was spectacular. Almost everyone there, professors and students, came to tell me how delicious the food was that I had brought and I was really glad that everyone liked it. A few years later, though, my professor mentioned that the food that I brought was so hot that everyone had to run to the bathroom immediately, and fought for water to cool their mouths after eating. I was so shocked to hear that. Why did no one tell me the truth? I was so embarrassed to hear that. I blamed him for not telling me right away, but that was a sure way for people to get to know me.

Getting Lost in the Neighborhood

After lunch, Ding Hua and I decided to go for a walk to see the beautiful fall foliage. It was really the first time for me to see such magnificent fall views because my city was in the subtropics and was evergreen almost year round. It was so much fun to walk on the leaves—crunch, crunch. We had so much fun walking around our neighborhood. Soon, we didn’t have any idea where we were and we wanted to go home. Every tree looked alike and every house too. Then, we saw an old lady walking with a cane ahead of us. We quickly caught up with her and asked her where Dell Street was. She raised her head, very friendly said, “Dell Street, it’s just two blocks away. I will walk you there.” “Oh no, just tell us how to get there,” I said. She already had great difficulty walking with her cane. But she replied, “I insist.” So, we let her walk us home with one of us on each side of her since we didn’t want her to fall or trip over. Then she said, “you look new here.” “Yes,” we said. “We are new graduate students from mainland China and arrived just two days ago.” “I always wanted to go visit mainland China, but I only made it to Taiwan and Hong Kong. Now, China opens its door and I am too old to travel. I am eighty-two years old and I have a bad heart. I traveled around the world with my friend Lucille, visiting many countries. It was the greatest time of my life.” She started to tell us her story.
     It was two very short blocks to our house. Instead of going to the front of the house, we walked to the back. “Now, we know where our house is, let’s walk you back to your house and make sure that you get home all right.” I said, “I always like company, but you don’t have to do that. I always go out for a walk when the weather is like this and it’s good for me.” She said.
     Soon, we received a note in our mailbox. The two ladies Marjorie Banks and Lucille Smith had invited us over for tea. We went to their house for the first time. It was a very nice, comfortable house, small but elegant. They had all these collections in their living room, especially an oriental screen, and Chinese characters that meant “happiness, wealth, and longevity” on the wall. These things made us feel at home. After that visit, our friendship grew. Ding Hua studied for a year and then returned to China. In a way, the two ladies provided me with a second home and were there to help whenever I needed assistance.

Marjorie, Lucille, and Marjorie’s daughter Rafe in front, classmate Handi (Chinese) from Indonesia, our English teacher in Syracuse University and her boyfriend.

Arriving in Syracuse

In the car, it seemed like everyone else knew where he or she was going. One by one the driver dropped off everyone except me. He said where should I drop you off? I told him I did not have a place yet. Everyone else had already made arrangements in China before they came here. I didn’t have any money for a security deposit for an apartment until a few days before I left Beijing. So, my driver took me to the president of the Chinese Student Association’s house, but no one was there and no one knew when he was coming back. Just when we didn’t know what to do, I started to get very worried because it was getting dark. We saw a person walk towards us. It turned out that he was the president and he was from my home city Chengdu.
     He took me to 107 Dell Street where he had reserved a room for someone else but she wasn’t going to arrive until the next day so I stayed there. 
     The next day, Ding Hua came. She was from northeastern China and would be a visiting scholar for a year. She was about three years older than I was, tall and thin, with long braided hair, and she was married. I couldn’t find a place for myself yet when she arrived. I had a total of four hundred dollars per month for everything except tuition. I had to find a place for less than two hundred dollars. I had never paid rent before, the work place provided the housing and dining.  I worked four years after college (over 50 yuan/month), live/eat with my parents so I saved over 600 yuan which I gave it all to my parents.  Ding Hua had the same amount for her allowance. She said that she wouldn’t mind sharing the room with me. This way, we could all save money. I agreed at once. It couldn’t be worse than a college dorm where seven students all shared one room.

AMERICA - Entering the Golden Gate

It was very interesting to experience time changes while aboard a plane crossing the Pacific Ocean. It had just turned dark outside of the window. The sun rose again after 9 PM. I didn’t sleep at all on the plane. The Yale man said that was the best way to adjust to the time change. I was very tired when we landed at San Francisco. When I looked out the window, there were no more Chinese people working on the ground. It suddenly woke me up and I became very alert. With the Yale’s help, we went through customs without any trouble. The Yale man told me about the routine procedures ahead of time. The custom officer just checked my passport and visa. Then, we waited at the airport for a few hours before boarding again. It gave me some time to look outside. Cars rushed by on the highway. I had arrived in a different world.
     Traveling West to East, I was impressed by the views below. Compared to China, the land was arranged in much larger pieces. When we reached New York City, the city lights amazed me. We said goodbye to the Yale man when a girl came to pick him up. We finally reached a hotel of the Chinese embassy in New York City about midnight, where the three of us going to Syracuse stayed overnight. I was so tired and tried to sleep, but the Atlantic Ocean was right outside of the building. The noise of waves crashing against the rocks made me unable to sleep. I was not used to that kind of noise so I got up and closed the window. I slept until my roommate woke me up and said that someone wanted to see me. It was Li (李) Zie, one of the men going to Syracuse. He told me that he got the bus tickets for us and that it was 9:30 so I’d better get up since we had to leave on the bus in an hour. I got up but was still tired. Fortunately, he found a ride to the bus station for us from his roommate. We were going to have to walk because the taxi driver refused to give us a ride and told us the bus station was only two blocks away.
     It was a beautiful bus ride and the view in the distance reminded me of some Western oil paintings that I had seen in China. I thought it was my imagination but it was so real … golden leaves against a blue sky. The trees were so big, here and there scattered in the distance. Their branches stretched out so far and free. It was quite a contrast to our bonsai trees all twisted to contain form. Everything looked clean and calm. I felt like I had arrived in a free paradise.
     On the bus, we noticed an Asian woman. Later when we changed buses, we had a chance to talk with her. She was a graduate student at college and just came back from China after her honeymoon. She had been in the US for three years. Her husband was in Japan. I instantly was eager to get to know her better. It seemed to provide me with a light to my future, that I was not alone and relationships could work long distance. After we reached the bus station, she called her friend to pick her up. At the same time, she told her friend that we needed a ride also. Lucky again, another car came and put our entire luggage in, and we got in too.

Goodbye to All I Knew

I made a trip to Zigong, the city where I spent most of my early childhood, where my aunt and uncle still lived. I didn’t have a chance to go back in all those years. I was so surprised that those big, wide streets from my memories were so small and narrow, and the hills seemed so small. My cousins were all grown up too. My uncle had already moved to a new and bigger apartment and my baby niece was just born. She was the first grandchild in our family (graduated from The Imperial College, London University. Now, she is working for the Royal Bank of Scotland). It was a pleasant visit, so I extended my stay, and it was difficult for me to leave.  Although I did not know where my grandparents were since my oldest uncle told me he could not find my grandfather's burial place anymore,  I assumed that included my grandmother's too.  He did not tell me my grandmother's ashes were in his home where I stayed.  I could feel them close to me.  I felt them and I got their blessing.
     It was early morning; my father had arranged for a van from his institute to send me to the Chengdu airport for my flight to Beijing. All my family members, my brother, my sister, and my parents went to the airport to say goodbye. I really didn’t feel like it was goodbye since I would stay in Beijing for a week to get my money and papers ready. I felt like it was just another business trip.
     I stayed in a small hotel in Beijing, nearby the department of forestry. Then I received my travel money, obtained my ticket, and finished all the necessary paperwork. My flight was scheduled for August 27th, 1986 before my 25th birthday. Mr. Zhou (周) from the department said goodbye at the airport. Then he left me alone to wait to board the plane.
     I realized that this was a real goodbye. I saw some women or wives of students crying since their boyfriends or husbands were leaving. I felt so sad to be alone. I wished that I had Wang to comfort me. Any one of my family members or even someone I knew or was familiar. I looked around, hoping find someone. Everyone was a stranger to me. And it seemed like everyone, everyone except me, had someone with him or her. I waited to check-in and then I waited to board the airplane. It seemed like I never waited for anything that long. Then I heard the loud speaker say that our flight was delayed until the next day, the 28th because of a typhoon.
     Most people got up and went away. I was withdrawn and passive because I had not been talking to anyone, which was unlike me on any other trips I had taken in China. I didn’t have anywhere to go and started to worry. The person next to me talked to another person next to him; he said, “let’s wait here. They will take care of us. We can’t go anywhere because we don’t have Chinese money anymore.” He was right, the bus took us to the airport hotel, fed us, and we stayed overnight. The next day, we tried again, but it was delayed again. Then a plane to San Francisco, which was waiting for three days, was ready to take off and had extra seats. The loud speaker said that some people on our flight could get their ticket changed and board that flight. We didn’t know when our plane would take off and the new semester would start around September 2nd. Suddenly, our neatly organized waiting line became a messy crowd. Everyone wanted to change his or her ticket to board that plane. I had two big suitcases and a big bag. There was no way that I could beat that crowd, so I did not even try. I just stood aside and waited. At that time, a man with a big suitcase came to me and said, “how about you watch our suitcases and luggage and I will try to get our tickets changed so we both could go.” I didn’t know whether I should trust him or not. He said he was the man next to me the day before and he stayed in the same hotel with me, ate with me in dinning hall last night.  I gave him my ticket. After he left, I saw his suitcase with a tag from Beijing to Yale. I guessed that he was a student at Yale. I did not remember his name, so I called him “Yale man.”
     After he came back without any luck with the tickets, we started talking about school. He realized that I was a new student going to my college alone so he found two more male students as company. I felt much better knowing that I was not alone in my journey. I should have found those two by myself if I was my normal self. I wasn’t really in the mood for chatting with others since I was still feeling sad and alone even though they were all very nice to me. Finally, we boarded the plane. There was plenty of room; we were free to sit anywhere and the Yale man sat beside me. I hoped that he could sit somewhere else so that I could lie down for a nap and that would give me some time alone. He let me sit by the window since there were only two seats. The other two boys to my college had to take two back seats. Since the seats had high backs, it was very hard for them to talk to me. The Yale man was very pleased that he had my company alone.
     The Yale man has been at Yale University for three years. Now, he was a Ph.D. student in the mathematics department. He surely showed off by telling me everything from drinking Coke to the whole experience of America firsthand. I was laughing to myself that he must have had a wife or child by now even though he still acted like he was single. I wished Wang had sat next to me instead of him. I was just listening and kept very quiet.

Uncertain Future

In reality, I was worried about this big trip and I didn’t know what my future would be. First, I had the strangest dream. I was in a big house surrounded by woods on a slope. I was in the backyard of the house, holding a little child and I didn’t know whose child it was. Then I felt someone chasing me and I ran into the house and out to the front of the house. There was a small river with a little boat and a few people who I did not know, but they seemed like they were my friends. So, I went into the boat and they helped me escape. From the river, we crossed a huge ocean. It was vast and endless. Then I saw a tiny spot far away; I was so excited and said, “that must be China.” We got close, I could see that there was no shore, only a big cliff. I looked up; the cliff was so high and our little boat was so small. There was no way for us to climb up. I woke up and the dream was still so real and so clear. It scared me.
     I did not have any other way to know my future so I went to a fortuneteller with one of my cousins. It was the first time I went to a fortuneteller. I told him when I was born and at what time of day. Then with his brush pen, he started to draw a cross from up to down, from right to left, and a lot of symbols. He said that my best place to be was the northeast and the farther the better. He said that it was not good for me to stay at my home in the southwest, and that I had to go far away. When I reached 30 years old, I would have fame and money, and would be in a noble position. He told me a lot of other things by interpreting the symbols on the paper such as my future spouse would either be older or younger. But whoever married me would be fine, and I would be a kind and noble woman. Finally, he gave me the piece of paper and said that I could keep it and time would show he was right. On the way home, my cousin and I were laughing.  She said “well, you are going far away, and to the northeast. You are on the right track to be a wealthy and noble woman.” I never believed in much of anything, but this piece of paper gave me all the courage and confidence to come to the U.S.
     I was shopping around and preparing to go to the U.S. I learned that the city was very cold in the winter. I tried to buy a long warm winter coat and boots, but I could not find these anywhere in my city. Finally, I found a man’s down winter coat but never found winter boots. I also bought a lot of new clothes, gifts, and so on. I knew that everything was expensive in the U.S. I never bought that many new things in so short a period of time and all my female friends were interested in seeing what I bought.

My cousin Guan Zhongwei was going to Manchester University and I was going to USA