The Salt Merchant's Granddaughter from China to America and the Search for My Hakka Roots. My unexpected, surprising discoveries of my own family's more than 100 years-old clan books (zhu pu) in old Chinese
(printed copy), covering 18 generations back to the Ming Dynasty (1454) in
Fujian and hidden stories and over 2000 long-lost relatives.
My sister Yi never left home; she worked in the accounting department of the Oil Company my parents worked for all their life. She could not love anyone there since they all knew each other since they were kids. It would be like marrying one’s own sibling. Our ambassador friend from Taiwan introduced us to the Pao (鲍) family in Bristol, NH. The family owned two Chinese restaurants. Their oldest son Steven was looking for a Chinese bride. The ambassador introduced Steven to my younger sister Yi. Steven and Yi wrote to each other and then Steven visited China. I did not have much hope on this, since I introduced a Chinese man that I knew in Boston to my sister before, and it did not happen. Here, we were talking about the other side of the earth.
One day after I returned home from work, my parents told me that Steven and his parents came for a visit. Steven sat far away quietly while his parents asked permission if their son could marry their daughter after two years of calling and visiting. How much did my parents want? After all, Steven’s father paid over $30,000 for his wife (10 years younger than he). His grandfather was Nationalist went to Taiwan in 1949 when KMT lost. The locals call them province outsiders (外省人), then they came came to US, the locals call them Chinese. When they finally was able to visit China, the locals call them Taiwanese.
My parents were shocked; they had never been asked such a question before, but only heard such stories from their parents. Maybe people in remote areas of China still held this custom, but not in the cities since 1949.
My parents told them that they were not selling their daughter; they did not want a penny from them as long as they both wanted to marry each other. Steven’s parents thought that my parents were losing their daughter to them, so after all those years raising her as a good daughter, it was reasonable to ask compensation. My parents married in 1958 all by themselves with a group of their coworkers and friends. They practically put two single beds together, after giving a few candies to everyone who came for the wedding.
Steven went back to China and married my sister there, then came back to the US to start the immigration process. It took another two years before my sister was able to join him in NH. His parents had a formal wedding banquet in Chinatown with ten tables. Each table had ten people. The newlyweds had to kneel down on the floor and bow to the sky, the ground, both parents, and each other. I only saw this in old Chinese movies. The banquet food covered almost everything, seafood of every kind, chicken, pork, beef…plus a wedding cake. It was beautiful.
They had a boy and girl. They moved away from NH down south since my sister could not stand the cold winter in the north. Steven wanted to live his own life away from his parents’ shadow. He was out of the restaurant business, eating less and his high cholesterol was in normal range again. His whole family used to go to gambling places every Christmas when they closed their restaurants. My sister, my mother, and I never went with them. They now stayed home for Christmas for three years. My sister is teaching Chinese in the local Chinese school.
Steven’s parents were heartbroken when all their kids gave up their restaurant business. It was a perfect business in which the whole family could be working together. However, their kids got tired of waiting on tables, long working hours, and no weekends and holidays. They all moved down South, and bought their own houses. They left their parents no choice but to sell one business, and hired all the other employees for the other restaurant.
Although my parents gave $4000 for the kids, my parents did not feel comfortable using my husband’s money for trips. I told them I worked at home whenever there was a project. My mom felt sorry for me not working after being in school for so long. She wanted me to find a job, and we thought it best for me to find a part time job nearby. I went to the library and found the local job postings. There was a job at a local emergency response center. Sara, who studied wildlife before and now was working in the accounting department, wanted me to work full-time right away. I told her that I would go home and discuss it with my parents since they were the ones who were going to watch my three sons during the day. After I told them I found a full time job, my father said he would stay for a year to help me out. My mom did not say anything. I was shocked to walk into the office and find a woman at my desk working. Sara told me that she was leaving and she did get up and leave. She looked like she had been crying. I was very uncomfortable to watch her go; I could have worked part time. My officemates told me that she had a lot of personal problems and she just could not do her job. Very soon, I found out that the billing was a mess; cash was not posted into the right account or posted more than once. The supervisor Kathy was a single mom. She flew through whatever she wanted me to know in five minutes, and then the phone rang. She went to pick up her phone at her desk. She wanted me to ask her questions if I had any. Yes, I did have questions; she wanted me to write them down and she would take care of them. I would not hear from her again. I was familiar with the DOS system while in college, which soon switched to Windows. Lee set up the whole system, so I went to see him. In the beginning, he was very defensive while explaining to me how his system worked. Slowly, he became very supportive after I showed him the problems. The problems were both human errors and system problems. I asked him to show me how to fix the human errors. For example, double posting cash so the customer would not get the bill. Cash posted into the wrong customer’s account. System errors occurred such as new customers did not show up in billing. These were things that his program was supposed to do. He wanted me to give him a list of what I wanted the system to do; he then wrote patch programs to improve his system. I wanted his program to print a list of cash posting amounts that did not match the billing amounts, likely posted to the wrong customer. I wanted his program to catch double payments in the same month. He did all the things that I wanted him to do. I was happy how much easier that made my job, when you talk about over 10,000 customers for billing and cash posting. I showed Kathy all the double postings and asked her to be careful in the future. Double-check the print out. I did not tell upper management. She did not show up the next day; she called in sick. Then a week went by, so I called her, and asked her if she was better. She said she was not better; she would not be back working anymore, and she was looking for another job. I told her that we do need her here; I hoped she would not take anything personal about the mistakes I found. She said it was good that I found all those mistakes and I should be the next supervisor. She had been there over five years, and Lee had never helped her. I came in for a few weeks; and he was so cooperative to help me. Lee told me that 20 years before, he and the owner George were sent to find a buyer for the company, but instead George brought the company himself. The two of them had been running it since. He had not written any programs for so long and he forgot most of the language. Everyone who came had always complained about his system; they wanted the owner to change his old DOS to a Windows-based program. So he had been on the defense for years. I was the first one who was willing to work with him and helped him improve his system. I told him that I was privileged working with programmer. Buying a new program package with a telephone-sized manual without on-site support would be worse. Not to mention, it would cost a lot of money to replace the system, money the company did not have. His son came in to work with him on college breaks, so I asked about his wife, he said, “which one?” I was shocked and asked how many did he have?; he said three in his over 50 years. He was living with his girlfriend now. In one year, I cleaned up the billing, was promoted three times, and became the supervisor. Some customers who called wanted to speak to me only. “ I want to speak with that girl with Irish accent.” We thought it was very funny. It was not funny for me; every one of my customers had a sad story. They just wanted to talk many times since I corrected their billing. One sent me a picture of her dog; later, her daughter called to cancel the services because her mother had died. Most of the people working there were young high school dropout kids. They came and went at a high turnover rate. Our customers were mostly old, sick, and dying; most stayed as clients for three months to a year. I had over 10,000 customers for billing each month. We had a data entry center, and just entered new and took out old clients. Also, a monitoring center was open 24/7. One morning when I walked into the office, a girl was crying, and I asked her why. Her supervisor had yelled at her for something that was not her fault. I checked into it and agreed with her. So, I told her to explain to her supervisor or I could go to her supervisor to help her explain. I did not like her supervisor even though I only dealt with him once when I asked him about his morning report. Instead of giving me the report, he let me wait so he could finish eating his popcorn at 9 AM. Then, he showed me how many kinds of vitamins he took everyday. The girl told me not to talk to her supervisor because she really needed this job; she needed to pay her mom rent or she would become homeless. I was joking with her; now, your mom cannot kick you out, can she? She said that was not funny; she was homeless before when her mom kicked her out. Yet her mother kept her dog. Sad to say, she was fired two weeks later. I felt so bad for both ends of the wire at the monitoring center. Our side were all teenagers struggling very hard to keep their heads above water. The other side were old, dying, and struggling very hard to live. One day when I walked out of the accounting office, I saw this boy’s hair glowing blue. I thought I was at the computer for too long, but it turned out that this boy had dyed his hair blue. As low as their income was hourly, they spent their money like there was no tomorrow. So before payday came, they were broke already. They ordered their lunch everyday. Every now and then, one lunch would be short. The delivery guy said he delivered all the orders, and the one who did not get the lunch ended up crying. I brought my lunch everyday from home. Their parents should have taught them how to use their money wisely. One day, our CFO brought in her sister-in-law. She wanted Sara to train her how to do her job, so Sara did not have any choice but to teach her. A few weeks later, Sara was forced out. I had a very hard time accepting Sara’s leaving since we had so much in common. The sister-in-law was not very good to work with. Once she ordered some very expensive computer supplies on-line, and Lee was upset. I told her she should really have asked Lee since it was his field of expertise. She was upset with me and wanted me to have a private talk with her in the office. Basically she wanted me on her side no matter what. I was shocked to see her putting her own interests above the company. As it was, our company was struggling to pay bills. I decided to look for another job. Sadly this company does not exit anymore. I moved on to another full time accounting job nearby my home. I had a lot of adjustments to make after being at home for 10 years taking care of my children. Moreover, I did not to notice my parents also went through a huge
change, suddenly becoming grandparents in a foreign country with a
foreign son-in-law. One day my cousin in the UK called; he called me
one day when I was not at home. My father told him a lot of things my
cousin did not think could be true. I suddenly realized that my father
had not smoked for almost a year without any complaints. I had not
noticed anything wrong at home. My parents and I went up to the 3rd
floor for a closed-door meeting. My mom did not have a word to say and
my father started crying. He said he was sorry about complaining about
me to my cousin; he did not know what he was saying. I was crying as
well; I told them that I was sorry for not paying much attention to them
after work. I took them for granted since they were my parents. If
they wanted to return to China, I could always stay home again till my
kids were a little older. After a long cry, my parents decided to stay a
few more years till Joseph was older since they really loved him and
were attached to him.
In 1999, we bought a Toyota Sienna since our 3rd son would soon be born and my parents were coming. My father had never visited the US. He did not like me bugging him to quit smoking, I asked him to come for a visit and he kept refusing until now. My father brought two cartons of cigarettes; I told him he had to go outside of the house to smoke and after he finish his two cartons, I would not buy anymore. He smoked two packs, and then quit cold turkey. We took my parents along with us on a car trip up to Arcadia National Park. We enjoyed walking around Bar Harbor then driving through the national park and up Cadillac Mountain. It was the first time for me to climb a mountain next to the ocean. We had lobsters for dinner. It was our first long family vacation. After we returned home, Richard broke his elbow while playing with his friends in the backyard. After spending four hours in our local hospital, they recommended us to go to Children’s Hospital because Richard needed surgery. We had our two cars parked at the local hospital, then rode with Richard via the ambulance to Boston about 6 PM. We waited for another four hours till midnight. The surgery was supposed to take over one hour; I was scared because one of the sisters in Jonathan’s class died from a very simple surgery in the same hospital a few years before. So I told Richard to make sure to wake up when I called him later. He did not cry when they wheeled him in, considering he was only five years old. Anthony and I were the only ones in the waiting room. Three hours later, he finally came out. The surgeon said he was trying to reset it; at first, but it did not work, so it took awhile. I went to Richard right away, try to wake him up, he answered me, but he went right back to sleep. After a few months when I took him back to have the screws removed from his elbow, he was screaming and wanted the doctor to put him to sleep first even though the doctor said it would not hurt. It sure looked like it was going to hurt. The doctor went out, and came back three times before Richard finally allowed him to remove the screws. That was the first time I went to the children’s hospital. I am so grateful that our children are healthy. My friend Wei-lin and her parents came to visit her as well. Together our two families visited Howe Caverns; they said they had seen better ones in China since they were all geologists. Then we went to visit our graduate college where we had spent eight years, and the neighborhood where Jonathan spent his first two years. We stayed with Anthony’s parents in Rochester overnight then visited Niagara Falls.
My youngest son Joseph Maximilian Brach was born in the Spring of 1998. Since Joseph was Anthony’s both grandfather’s name, father’s middle name, and youngest brother Kevin’s middle name, we named our son Joseph. We gave him the middle name Maximilian after St. Maximilian Kolbe. I was sorry that I did not name a Joseph earlier since I kept having boys; now their grandfather on both sides should be happy. Anthony took Jonathan and Richard came to see the baby in the hospital, the baby was not in my room so Jonathan stayed with me in the room; Anthony and Richard went to the nursery to get our baby. The nurse decided that they should wheel the baby’s nursery bed to my room, so the boys could enjoy their little brother. Richard was so excited and he was half running trying to keep up with everyone walking in the hallway to my room. He said, “Daddy, wait until mommy sees the baby we picked out for her.” When I called my mother to tell her the good news, she started to cry. First I thought she was too happy, then realized that something really bad happened. After a long cry, she finally told me that my aunt, her youngest sister had died while crossing street. My mother did not want to give me stress while I was expecting Joseph knowing that I was very close to her. I suddenly realized that I did have a few dreams about her, and told Anthony at the time. She died on Jan 7th, 1998, exactly the same day her older brother died two years before. She was only 53. I received a letter she wrote a week before she died. That was the first and last letter she wrote to me, she was talking about her family, her two daughters. Her letter reminded me of the good times that we had in Zigong years before. I missed her so I dreamed that we went shopping together. The street looked like the street in US, but crowded with Chinese people. Then we were at a crosswalk waiting for the light to turn with many other people. When the walk light came on, I was ready to cross, but my aunt was not next me, I turned around looking for her in the crowd, but I could not find her. I was worried in my dream; I was looking all over for her. She did not cross at crosswalk. My dream made sense now. I felt so bad. My youngest aunt died on the same day as my youngest uncle; what kind of fate was that? I asked my mom how much money I should send to her family since it was so late. She said she already sent money with my name too. Still I sent $150 to them to make myself feel better. Strange things happened after that; I dreamed that my aunt came to visit me in my house here in US. She brought two tickets to watch a play "Miss Saigon" at the Wang Theater in Boston. She told me that she would watch my three boys; Anthony and I could go since we had never went out alone. Although it was my wish to watch the play at the time. I asked her why she spent money on me since she or me could not really afford the tickets. Chinese money was 8 Yuan to 1 dollar at the time. We were in our unfinished basement arguing about the tickets. I did not question why we were down there instead of my living room or kitchen; in my dream, it was almost normal and accepted. It only felt strange after I woke up. Then my cousin returned my check with a thank you card. Somehow I did not date the check. She could not cash the check in China. That was weird because I never forget to put the date on the right corner when I wrote a check. My aunt must have known that we were struggling with Anthony’s salary alone raising a family of five with a huge mortgage to pay. She must have made me forget the date. I dated the check and sent it out again.
My youngest aunt used to take me on her shoulders back and forth to the local clinic. I was sick almost all the time. I spent a lot of time with her when I was living with my grandparents.
My youngest uncle (官举彪) died from a shrimp allergy on Jan 7th, 1995 at age 57. He did not know he was allergic to ocean shrimp. His oldest son came home from the southeast Hainan Island with jumbo shrimps (farm raised/pollutions?). He was swollen right after, but no one in the hospital knew why since he lived so far inland. He wanted to wait till his son left before going to see doctor since his son only came home once a year for a few days. It was too late when he went to the hospital; he could not breathe because he was drowning. His three sisters and oldest brothers were surrounding his bed; he was begging to his big brother. “Help me, brother, I cannot breathe.” My mom said it was helpless, they watched him died.
My oldest uncle still cries when he talks about his little brother. In the Cultural Revolution (1960s), my youngest uncle was dragged out from his house and put on display as a Russian spy, since he went to Kiev Polytechnic Institute for college and knew seven languages. They raided his home and took away all his valuables, since they could not find any evidence of wrongdoing. They even took away his radio, so he had no way of knowing what was going on in the outside world. One day, someone pushed him down from a high place and he broke his neck; he almost died. His wife Wang (王) took him to the hospital right away; his life was saved, but his neck was set looking forward only; he could not turn or move his head around anymore. He could not bend his back either; he was like a robot afterward. He also had Tuberculosis.
I had dreamed about someone who was surrounded by a group of people. The man was so pale and I could not figure out who the man was. The next day, I was joking to my husband that I hoped Fred was okay since he often needed the ambulance and fire department’s emergency help in the middle of the night. Anthony said, “you and your dreams. How could I never remember my dreams?". Later on when I saw Fred’s wife, she told me that Fred was fine. Not long after, my mom described how my youngest uncle died. I realized that my uncle was in my dream. After all, he was the one right there like my father when I came into this world. He had two boys and I was the daughter he did not have. He showered me with gifts when I was young, and tried to take my pictures when I was mad. I was very sad about his passing, why him? He suffered so much. Now his kids had grown up, and he was retired. He should have enjoyed his life a little. It scared me thinking about his being gone. I did dream about him later. It was at a train station; I used to take an overnight train to visit him and his family. Somehow, I was walking alongside the train trying to board. He was walking towards me from the opposite direction. He walked by me telling me to go to his house for dinner. So we were passing by. Then I kept walking along the train, trying to find a car to get on. My uncle walked towards me the second time; he was telling me the same thing while passing by me. He was trying to tell me something. He wanted me go to visit his home. His oldest son made good money for a few years; he had a girlfriend who gave him a son. He told me the boy was not his. He never intended to marry her so she took the boy back home to her farm. I did try to ask our family Guan to keep the boy, but nobody was interested. Soon the money was gone and he lost his good job. His younger brother stayed with their parents after he graduated from the University; he could never hold a job for long. Our family had been helping them. Now my uncle did not want us to abandon his family after he was gone.
I dreamed that I went back to China, and was often lost there because I didn’t know where my parents’ apartment was. Or I was somehow working at the same institute where I was before, only there was something missing that I needed to come back to America.
A surprise chance to visit China came up when Anthony was to attend a meeting in Kunming in my neighboring province. Originally, we had planned to see my cousins in the UK. The decision came after April. We balanced our budget. Yes, we had enough money to take our family of four. The excitement came both within our family and back in China. My mom sent me information on possible site-seeing. My brother wanted us to visit him in Hainan, the little island called “The Hawaii of the Orient.” My aunts and uncles wrote that they would come to see us at my parents’ place if we could not make it to their place.
Then the fear of this long trip came when Flight_800 exploded in the air right before our trip to China. I started to rethink whether it was the right time to go to China, even though our children had all the necessary shots. Just the long flight itself made me feel very nervous. The tickets were already booked. My brother had already made calls to finalize the airline tickets within China. My father-in-law was going with us too. Everything was ready but I didn’t want to go anymore. I didn’t want to risk all my children. The only thing that I could do was to pray for God’s protection from danger, evil, disease, and disaster. Jonathan got chicken pox on the last day of preschool. Two weeks later, Richard got it too. Fortunately, they were better before we left.
Our Flight was scheduled to depart at 6:00 PM from Boston to Chicago. Our neighbor Una’s husband gave us a ride to the airport. We arrived in Chicago about 8:00 PM. For some reason, our plane could not land yet. We circled over Chicago for about one hour. Finally, we landed and ran to the connecting flight to China. We ended up in the last few rows of the plane. Anthony’s father was excited to say that he had never been on a Boeing this big before. However, it was not as new as the one that I took ten years before. We waited and waited. “We have some mechanical problems and our mechanics are trying to fix it right now,” the announcement said. Then we heard this “hong, hong” underneath our seats. It sounded like a car that would not start, only much louder. “Oh, my God, please help us, there are no places to land on the Pacific Ocean.” We waited and waited. We ate another dinner at 1:00 AM although we already had dinner. Anthony’s father was impressed with the Jumbo Cocktail Shrimp to start, followed by chicken or pork for dinner. We never had this kind of dinner on the plane. It did distract us for awhile from the noise underneath the plane. After dinner, the plane was still not fixed, so they sent us to a hotel nearby with our carry-ons only. We dragged along Jonathan and Richard since they were almost sleep.
We waited outside for a shuttle bus. Unfortunately, there was only one bus available at this hour. It was already 3:00 AM. In order to speed up the process, airport employees volunteered their own cars to drop us off at the hotel. A man with his minivan came. “Families with children first please,” he said. Five of us plus another man boarded his van. “I am George; I am a school teacher, working at the airport on the weekends. I know the hotel nearby, but I cannot promise no wrong turns.” He drove us from the airport to the hotel. He wondered for a second at intersections. We arrived at the Sheraton, but it was the wrong one. He turned around and used his car phone to talk for awhile. Finally, we arrived at the right one. We finally settled down in our room and put the kids to sleep. I was still excited and could not sleep. So, I turned on CNN. “An unexploded pipe bomb was found on a Chicago Airport runway early in the evening. No one knows how it got there.” “Oh my, that’s why we were circling above in the sky for a hour,” Anthony said. “I thought I heard someone talking about a pipe bomb after we landed. Then the News continued, “A student shot his professor and fellow student in California… An unidentified woman’s body was found in the woods of Chicago, etc.” That’s enough news. I turned off TV and tried to get some sleep.
Finally, we started the long flight the next day. We arrived at Beijing International Airport at midnight. It was drizzling and muggy. Our plane was the only one to land at this late hour. Here, we were in China. I could even smell it. We got off the plane, and we used the bathroom, which was a pretty good one. Yet, Anthony’s father took a picture because it was squat Asian kind.
At 5:30 AM the next day, I awoke and looked out our window. A young man was making pancakes outside with a coal stove and a little table. A young woman just came out from a shelter made from some old plastic. She looked like she just woke up and started to comb her hair. I realized that the little shelter must be their home. A few minutes later, she too started to work by cleaning the vegetables for filling the buns her husband was preparing. Suddenly, I felt tears rolling down my face. Poor things, that’s all they had. What a hard life! I was wondering what they were going to do in the winter when it was freezing cold. They had to take the stove inside of their shelter, I guess.
I went downstairs and went outside the hotel gate where there was a guard or gatekeeper already up. I walked to the man who was making pancakes. “How much are those pancakes?,” I asked. “1.75 Yuan,” he answered. I asked for four and gave him 10 Yuan and he said that I was his first customer so he had no change for me yet. I told him to keep the change. Then I went further down the street. I saw a farmer with a load of fresh peaches. They looked so fresh and big. I got two pounds of peaches. I spent less than two dollars and I was going to feed a family of five. Everyone enjoyed his or her breakfast.
The morning sun had gone up to the sky. I was so shocked to see how small Tiananmen was compared to the new skyscrapers of foreign corporations. I remembered my long walk around Tiananmen Square the first time when I came to Beijing for a business trip. Now the taxi took us in minutes. Then I noticed the cars, bicyclists, and the pedestrians. The city looked like a big fair. Traffic policemen were busy directing the traffic with the help of the lights. What a mass of people!
While waiting at the airport, I took Jonathan and Richard to the restrooms. Everyone seemed to be interested to see my mixed children. I lined up to use the bathroom while talking to the people inside. People behind me kept sneaking into the bathroom one by one before me. When the next one was free, the one behind me was already in front of me ready to go in. The lady talking to me stopped her. The one behind me just smiled back. I suddenly woke up that I was in China with many curious people; so after that, I simply said “I am babysitting these children.” That worked and people moved on after that answer.
We boarded a Russian-made plane to Kunming. It was steamy hot inside the plane because the air conditioner was broken. An announcement told us it would cool down when the plane took off. Jonathan was all red and kept asking for a drink. Richard was pretty good. It did get better after the plane took off. The seats were not as good as on the Boeing, of course. It was cloudy most of the way to the southwest until we were close to Kunming.
The weather in Kunming was sunny, cool, and windy. The meeting organizer had a van waiting for us outside. While loading our luggage, I noticed that one of the men looked very familiar. I couldn’t recall where we met before. Then the bus took us to the hotel where the meeting was going to be. Although I had been in the city three times before, I could hardly recognize anything as we passed through the city. Everyone was in a hurry. The driver had to break suddenly several times to avoid hitting people.
In the daytime, when Anthony and his father were at their meeting, I took the kids to look around. There was a farmer’s market right across the street. It was so familiar to me except with much more choices of everything. Then, I saw cages of chickens for sale. The customer could pick the live chicken, and the seller could kill and clean it while you waited. Jonathan and Richard were petting the chickens first, then saw the whole process. They were shocked to know how chickens came to our dinner table. I explained the whole thing to Jonathan. “Oh!,” he replied. I regretted letting them see the whole thing almost immediately, because I recalled that we told him how lobsters and crabs in the little aquarium of the supermarket came to our dinner table, so he refused to eat them. Chicken was one his favorite foods. We had chicken for dinner that day. They seemed to forget all about how the chicken came to our table.
The third day, one of my brother’s friends, who was the manager for a small perfume company, came with his company’s van and took us to the “Stone Forest” and “Western Hills.” Personally, I had visited both places and it would be a very tight schedule for both places in one day because they were in opposite directions. Taking along two kids and being my father-in-law’s interpreter would not be a fun trip. After the Stone Forest, I was ready to go back to Kunming without visiting the Western Hills. However, my father-in-law really wanted to go, so we went. It was an easier trip because we took the cable car up. My father-in-law climbed up by himself because he was scared that maybe the cable car could not support his weight. I was terrified up there with Richard and asked the driver to take Jonathan on his car. It looked like we could fall though. I kept looking back to see Jonathan and told him to sit still. Richard was holding me very tightly. He must have noticed the height.
By the time we finally reached the top, my father-in-law was already there. He said that if there were no people in front of him, he would have gotten there faster. We looked down and far away to Kunming and the Lake. The cars down below looked like little matchbox cars that my sons had at home. My sons, of course, didn’t have any fear of being at the top at all. They wanted us to pick them up to look down. I was scared now even though I was not scared ten years before when I
came here to the same spot. Maybe, because I had my children now.
The next day, we packed up our stuff and checked out, and waited at the lobby for the bus to take us to the airport. While we sat waiting, I saw the man who picked up us at airport. We both noticed each other this time. We looked at each other. “Did we meet somewhere before,” I asked. We started to talk. Finally, we figured out that we were in the same English training class for awhile. He was not able to go abroad. Now, he was married with one child.
It was a smooth ride to the airport and our plane was on time. About 4 PM, we arrived at the ChengduAirport on time. I saw my father waiting outside. After we checked our baggage, we went out, and we saw my father, sister, and uncle. It was the first time for Jonathan and Richard to see them, although Jonathan said that he “met” my father before, not my sister or uncle.
My parent’s condo looked about the same except it was older since they did not do any remodeling. I did find a lot of things still the same. I felt at home right away. We had dinner and my favorite wine made by nuns in Mount_Qingcheng. My father-in-law was not feeling well. After dinner, my brother came back with a lot of tropical fruits that did not help my in-law’s stomach.
The next evening, my father-in-law started to have chills and was sweating. He looked really weak and pale. My father insisted that we should send him to the hospital for a checkup, maybe get an IV for dehydration. My father-in-law was scared and did not want to go. After an hour of persuasion, he agreed to go to the clinic at my parent’s institute. It was almost 10 PM; the doctor there could not get any lab results because the lab has closed. Therefore, she suggested that we should go to the Provincial Hospital that was better equipped. My father and I took him by taxi to the hospital. When we arrived, there were few patients. Since all the patients were waiting inside the doctors’ office while the doctor was checking and talking to other patients, it seemed very crowded without any privacy. My father-in-law started crying and regretted coming with us; he thought he would die in China.
My father went to find an English-speaking doctor. He came back with one 15 minutes later. The doctor came and checked my father-in-law and asked whether he had any other health problems. He ordered a stool sample. I took him to the bathroom. You couldn’t imagine how awful the bathroom looked to him since he was weak. I was telling him that it was not that bad and he was in good hands.
It took about 30 minutes for all the lab results. We took them to the doctor. He said that my father-in-law was fine, no bacterial infections, just severely dehydrated. I asked him whether he needed an IV. He said it was not necessary. He gave him a few packages of powder to mix with water to drink. My father-in-law felt much better even without any medicine yet.
He was better again. My brother rented a car for us for a few days. He took us to the Chengdu Zoo where my children and Anthony and his Dad saw a real Giant Panda for the first time. We went to a few other parks where Anthony and his father enjoyed the oriental gardens.
Then my brother’s friend took my father-in-law to Mt. Emei, a mountain from 500 to 3000 meters elevation. They drove up and came down by foot. It was raining, so my brother’s friend suggested to just drive down. He refused; he wanted to walk down in the cold rain since he had outdoor gear. He was surprised why they did not prepare for the trip. He came home after the three-day trip and ached all over.
My mom took out the last quarter bottle of Tiger Bone Liquor, it looked like dark scotch. My father-in-law curiously watching my mom put it into a shot glass. He held it for a minute, still wondering whether he should drink it. So he took a very little sip. “Oh! Very good!” He took a bigger sip, then finished it in no time. The next day, he told us that he was much better. He loved the Tiger Bone Liquor so much that he finished the remainder in the bottle without any of us noticing. He wanted more; I told him he should know the Tiger Bone ban has been effect for quite a long time now. This leftover liquor had been in my home for many years. Now, there was no more!
My mom went out the next morning; she was gone all day without letting us know where she was going. It was almost dinnertime when she came back without saying a word. Later on my aunt told me that my mom went to every one of her places for rare things, hoping to find Tiger Bone Liquor, but failed.
We flew to Haikou where my brother worked. He met us at the airport and took us on a car trip down the island to Sanya. Although it was hot there, at least there was the ocean breeze. Our hotel was right by the ocean. The sand was so white and the water was so clear and warm, but the waves were very strong. I was a little scared of going in too far from the sandy beach. I watched my husband took Richard and his father take Jonathan to ride the waves away from the shore, a little farther and father away to the point I could hardly see them. I started screaming, “Come back, Come back… you are too far away…” That night I had a terrible dream, I dreamed the water was getting higher and higher, and our hotel was submerged in the ocean. I guess it was the sound of waves, being too close to the water made me uncomfortable.
My brother drove us to the south end of the island called the “End of the Earth” and all the major sites on the island. We also went to the local aquarium. We saw the biggest spider we ever saw, and its web on the side of the road, so we had to take a picture. We never saw that many crocodiles in one place; a local school kid was killed a few years later after we visited because he thought they were sleeping and somehow got inside. It was a horrifying scene because no one could help him when so many crocodiles attacked him at the same time.
Jonathan trying to eat steamed sea urchin
Jonathan pointing to where we were
Jonathan and Richard loved my brother's carved hardwood chairs
Our neighbor across the street had a new baby. I bought Jonathan and Richard over for a short visit. That night when Jonathan went to bed and I slept across from him in another bed; we started a conversation about babies. Usually his mind was very active before he fell to sleep; he became very talkative around this time. He would tell me what happened in his kindergarten class even though he told me nothing new about school on the way home. “Where did you come from, Jonathan? Do you remember?” I asked. “From your tummy,” he said. “Do you remember what you were doing inside of Mommy?,” I asked. “Yes, I was exercising in your tummy and I played with you backbones. Remember, Mommy when you put your hand over your tummy, I was touching your hands.” I became very interested in his story. “Where were you before you came to Mommy?” I asked. “I was living in the clouds, going around and around until I landed on you.” “What are you made from then?,” I asked. “By fire.” “Fire?, it wasn’t hot? You did not get burned?,” I asked. “No, this fire was not hot,” he said. “I was a mouth so I eat and eat; I used the fire to make my head, eyes, nose, ears, tummy, arms and legs, hands and feet, but nails last, mom.” I was so surprised what my five-year-old was telling me. “No, mom, it was not hot and I could make everything with fire, even toys,” he continued. “Where did you sleep?,” I asked. “I slept in your brain, I just climbed up. When it was morning I came down, splashed into the water,” he said. “How did you know it was morning?” “I saw through your eyes. When you opened your eyes, I could see it was light, when you closed your eyes, I could not see anything,” he said. “How did you eat inside mommy?,” I asked. “When I saw food come down, I started to grab it,” he answered. “Did you like whatever mom ate,” I asked. “Yes, Mommy; no spices Mommy,” he added. Maybe that was why when I was carrying him, it seemed that I was fighting over food between my mouth and tummy. I loved certain spicy Chinese foods and I enjoyed eating them. Only a little later, I threw up or my tummy didn’t feel good. If I ate heavy American food with cheese, which I had the hardest time to swallow, the food stayed and I felt better afterward. Now I know why. “How did you know it was the time to come out?,” I asked. He said, “I just knew it was time to push and get out; I pushed and I pushed.” “Was it hurting when you pushed?,” I asked. “No, it was not hurting,” he said. I could not help telling him that I was hurting; it really hurt. He said, “oh.” He did not know it hurt me. “What did you see when you came out?,” I asked. It was amusing that he saw my legs, then the doctor, then his dad. “Where are you going then?,” I asked. He only knew that he was a little boy now. He didn’t know where he was going. I told him that he was going to grow up and someday have his own kids just like Mommy and Daddy, then he would get old like Nana and die someday. He became so quiet and I thought that I scared him. I went over to check him and he was sound asleep. Later on, I asked him the same questions over and over again. He told similar stories that he was in the clouds before he came to me. It was like he was a real entity all along and had a mind of his own, yet still connect with me and depended upon me. While inside of me, he seemed to have learned something from me. When he saw my father for the first time, he told me that he met him before, but not my brother or sister even though they were all in the pictures that I showed to him. He described the apartment building that was in my dreams often. He told me it was a red brick building. He was never there because we moved before I came to the US to a new apartment building that in my dream I was never able to find. I have always dreamed about the red brick building where I spent my teenage life I tried to ask my two other sons the same questions when they were five years old. I did not get much from Richard because he did not remember, Joe was able to tell me that he was a soldier. He described the battlefieldlike an old movie. I had some strange violent dreams when I was pregnant with Jonathan, it was an ancient bloody war. All the men were fighting with swords. Somehow I saw my grandmother was killed. The doctor said it is common for pregnant woman to have war dreams.
