Richard Went to College and My Father Had a Pacemaker

The oldest children have higher expectations from their parents and themselves. Jonathan was second in his high school class.  The year before him, the second went to Harvard. My son thought he had a chance to get in too since they had very similar backgrounds except he did not consider himself white.  Not mention he had practically grown up at Harvard since Anthony works there. It was 5 PM when he waited in the front of the computer for the news and the email was late. Everything stopped and our whole family was waiting for the news. Then he received the sad news that he was not accepted from Harvard and all the other Ivy Leagues. He went up to his room without dinner and it was first time ever he did not want to eat. The rest of us ate our dinner without a word. I had a very hard time to swallow my food. Jonathan's sad face kept me awake all night and I did not know how to help him.  The next day he told me that he was fine and went back to school. One of his teachers gave him a paper advertisement for Harvard Extension School as a joke. I just hoped it had nothing to do with the fact that he checked his ethnicity as Asian.  I read that  Asian-American applicants are turned away from colleges in disproportionate numbers. Still I support the idea of giving a chance for disadvantaged kids even if it means costing my son's chance, still I hoped it was done fairly, not just Asians pay for it.  Is Harvard Unfair to Asian-Americans?
    Richard was within the top 10 of his class so he was more realistic when he applied to colleges. Although Jonathan had never visited his college (Middlebury College)  before he was accepted, he fell in love with the school as soon as he got there. His two brothers loved it too. Richard applied early decision for the school and was accepted so he did not have to apply to any other school and saved us a lot of application fees.
     My father ended up in the Hospital for observation for two weeks and my mother did not tell us right away. He was cold one night, so instead of waking up the two nurses, he walked home at midnight to get a blanket.  I was very upset with him and my mother about this and the two did not think it was a big deal since the hospital was close to their home.  The hospital in China allows patients to come and go. Why wake them since he was fine and nothing happened?, but what if something happened?
     He was transferred to the best hospital in Chengdu - Huxi Medical. The doctor told my mom that my father needed a Pacemaker; she refused to sign the papers and called my brother. My brother went back right away and stayed till after the procedure. My brother waited one hour in line each time to park in the hospital's underground parking garage and my mom said it was faster taking a bus and walking. The bus has its own lane no other cars could use. My father and my brother's company also sent two persons to visit my father in the hospital with gifts and well wishes.
     My brother hired a helper right away since my mom did not.  It cost 160 yuan per day and he kept my father company 24/7 and took care of whatever my father needed. The rate ranges from 100-300 per day depending upon the patient's needs. Chinese nurses do not do any of the dirty work. You either do it yourself, your family members, or hire a helper yourself. The helper had a small cot next to my father's bed. My mom told us she could take care of my father herself. I asked her to take a taxi and she said why spent 20 yuan instead of taking a free 2 hours bus trip.  She told me how she went to the market every day to get fresh meat, fruits and vegetables to cook for my father, although her cooking was not as good but fresher and healthier than the hospital food.  She also give my father a good message before she went back home and my father would walk her to the bus station.
     Two weeks after the pacemaker, my father was still in hospital.  The doctor told me on the phone that the pacemaker could not take care of his early beats so they were still trying to figure out which medicine was best for him; right now they gave him some kind of herbal medicine in pill-form.
     Two months later, my father was still dizzy in the afternoon. He ended up in the hospital again right before the October holiday. The hospital let him go home from the hospital for a whole week for the holiday, but without checking out since he was still technically an in-patient.
     My sister went to China to help my father. She has been learning about natural healing since she and her family moved to Georgia. While teaching Chinese, she had many opportunities to learn from Buddhist healing masters from Taiwan. She had another Chinese teacher watching her two kids after school, cooking dinner for her husband. Since the Chinese teacher also had a husband, instead of going home without dinner or eating alone, he also came to my sister's house for dinner. My sister's husband is not so happy since she would be gone for two months leaving two kids with him in the morning before the school bus comes. Since it is for parents, he only wished that her kids were older so they could take care of themselves.
    My father made great progress a month after my sister showed up, he was able to calm down by himself, and actually sits down to do some simple Yoga or meditation my sister taught him.  My sister also introduced him to a local natural healing master to guide him. His early heartbeat is finally under control so he does not feel dizzy.
     My mom's younger sister Ju-Ming practices Falun Gong. It was hard to believe that my aunt a member of the communist party and a distinguished geologist with many published papers. Falun Gong changed her so much that she lost faith in everything else. She devoted every minute of her life to Falun Gong and she refused any of her medicine. No one could talk to her unless you wanted to listen to her or join her Falun. She had a stroke a year ago and for the past year has been in and out of the hospital.  The good thing is she has good pension and health care from the government, while her 40 years old unemployed son dreams to have the same benefits his mother has. Her son only worked a few years after college, but has been trying to pass the accounting exam. He refused to join the migrant workers for "slave labor" "Made in China" brands. He could have took his father's place in the father's state owned factory but that factory closed even before his father retired. Most state owned factories closed in China since they could not compete.
      My 82 year old mother has been hooked on "health pills" from the US, Europe for a few years through direct sales; direct sale is banned but somehow still a big business in China. She spent all her pension and savings on them. Those young sales people treat her and her friends like queens with formal lectures about how those pills resulted in a Noble Prize, discussions, massaging and washing their feet, and useless gifts. Sometime she left house 7 AM and my father said as long as she was happy.
     My sister overheard my mom tell her friend that my mother had lung cancer. My poor sister was so scared telling me that she was not even brave enough to ask my mom. I talked to my mom right away and asked her who told her she had lung cancer and where was the report?  She said she went to this Hua Xia Health Clinic and they have this advanced testing that only needed a single hair.  I started to laugh with a big relief.  Mom, a hair could only test whether those kids are yours or not, and obviously they are not.  They would not rob you if they were. She spent over 20,000 yuan of my brother's money buying a healthy pill 10 years supplies. I told her she would live 93, but her drug company could go down the next day.  She hanged up the phone on me. My girlfriend Welin's mom spent over 20,000 yuan on the another health pills that were made in Taiwan. She looked into this drug company and it was a real company but they do not have that kind of drug in Taiwan; it is only produced and sold in mainland China.
     We have been talking about how to take care of my parents since none of us live in the city where they lived. My cousin suggested that my parents move into her two bedroom condo since she is hardly ever there.  She stayed at her mom's building just across from hers so she could take care of her mom and my parents at the same time.  They live on the north side and my parents lives on the east side of the city. She still works full time. My parents refused, then I suggested that they hire a maid at home and they refused since they already have cleaners coming regularly. They want to stay in their own home and of course, it adds to my worries especially when I cannot reach them on the phone. 

Jonathan Went to College

     A lot happened since 9.11 in the US, financial meltdown -- human destruction, and in China Sichuan Earthquake and Japan Earthquake -- natural destruction.
     Time flies; my parents had gone back to China for close to 10 years. They felt like prisoners here since they do not have friends to talk to and they could not go anywhere without my driving them. Back home, they could talk to the colleagues who worked with them all their life since they live in the very same buildings. Or they could simply visit whomever by just simply ringing their door bells. We had a Manchu neighbor Li when I was in high school, he was a director of the institute. Now their next door neighbor Ma who is Hui (Chinese Muslim) married a Han wife. He was the communist party secretary which was above my father.  Everything is within their walking distance. Although they could wave a taxi anywhere on the street (like New York City now), they prefer to take a bus if they have to go somewhere farther away since it is free for seniors. Since they are over 80 years old, they each get 1000 yuan each Chinese New Year as a reward on top of their pensions. My mom retired when she was 55 and my father was 60. They are lucky! I felt so bad for my mother-in-law, at age 72, she just went back to work earning minimum wage because their retirement money was disappearing due to the bad stock market. They are not alone, so many others lost their money and lost their voice too. Their financial advisor had told them 15 years ago (from one of the world's leading financial management and advisory companies) that their money was safe with them and they could receive a good income until they were 99 years old. My father-in-law said if he had tucked his money under his mattress, it still be there today. Although my father-in-law worked for a multi-national company for over 30 years as a research scientist, his company owned all of his patented inventions. The Great Deformation: The Corruption of Capitalism in America by  David A. Stockman.
      The GDP of the US is 14.99 trillion (2011), $7720 per capita for 313.9 million people. For China: 7.318 trillion and $157 per capita for 1.344 billion people. Somehow, the US owes $1.2 trillion debt to China. In November 2012, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that more than 16% of the people live in poverty in the US, including almost 20% of American children, up from about 14% (ca. 43.6 million) in 2009 and to its highest level since 1993. In 2008, about 13% (40 million) Americans lived in poverty. Between 200,000 and 500,000 Americans were homeless. About 1.56 million people, or about 0.5% of the U.S. population, used an emergency shelter or transitional housing between October 2008 and October 2009.
      I had been working for a independent moving agent (under a bigger worldwide company) for over 10 years now with little savings for my retirement except Social Security if it is still there. My parents spent all their lives working for the oil company. It looked like we had to use oil whether we liked it or not. My brother has been working for an airline in China for over 30 years now and it looks like he is going to work for the same company for the rest of his life.
      About twenty years ago, I started writing my thoughts and memories as a keepsake for my children. It was never finished. Jonathan went to college. I was a little surprised that he was actually interested in history. He took a course called Modern East Asia. He came home and talked about the history he learned and asked me about my family. I really did not know much since I was never interested in history. My high school history returned back to my history teacher right after the test. I felt a little embarrassed after he went back to college. Richard in high school and Joseph in middle school will ask me the same questions soon so I had better be prepared. Still I could not imagine reading a Chinese history book. I could not even read a history novel. I had been a student for so long, the best way for me to learn was through lectures. I found Professor Kenneth Hammond’s “Chinese History 5000” from Yao to Mao, and at the same time I asked my parents to send me whatever they had on our family history.
      I explored my family roots in my second book, "Searching for My Hakka Roots." Modern technology can trace DNA to show one's ancestry via genetics. There is a possibility that I am not who I am by blood since so many Chinese changed their names throughout Chinese history. Just like my cross the hall Manchu neighbor Mr Li in Chengdu, China and Mary from my Church here USA, her family name "Wang" as she knows is not her true Manchu family name. Since it the only family name she knew, she and her larger family of "Wang" will have to defend that name. They will look up to their "Wang" ancestors and follow their good example. I felt so small yet as a part of a family clan, but I have a duty to pass on our family tradition and keep our family's good name.
     Although they knew they had British, French and Italian blood, my three sons have their father's last name "Brach", not related to "Brach Candy". Although most people know how to pronounce "Brach Candy," they always miss pronounce our "Brach."  Since Brach is a German name, they naturally want to know more about the name. His father's ancestors came from Poland in late 1800, but lived on the border of Germany and Austria five generations ago. His cousins have tried to search for their roots, but failed.  Maybe because of their last name, my three sons choose German as their second language over Chinese. My parents, my Chinese relatives, and Chinese friends have always complained that I did not teach them Chinese, as if I could. The first time I heard German without looking at who was talking, I actually thought it was a Chinese dialect, since there are so many dialects I do not understand.  Another time, a person with last name "Han," which is mine, turned out to be a German. He told me Han/Hans are pretty common in Europe. Jonathan had German as one of his majors; he was in Germany for a whole year.  While he was there, he finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life.

Hunan, Chinese civilization center is German ancestry
Jonathan in Germany
Richard in Germany

My Sister Yi (Amy) Married Steven Pao (鲍)

My sister Yi never left home; she worked in the accounting department of the Oil Company my parents worked for all their life. She could not love anyone there since they all knew each other since they were kids. It would be like marrying one’s own sibling. Our ambassador friend from Taiwan introduced us to the Pao (鲍) family in Bristol, NH. The family owned two Chinese restaurants. Their oldest son Steven was looking for a Chinese bride. The ambassador introduced Steven to my younger sister Yi. Steven and Yi wrote to each other and then Steven visited China. I did not have much hope on this, since I introduced a Chinese man that I knew in Boston to my sister before, and it did not happen. Here, we were talking about the other side of the earth.
     One day after I returned home from work, my parents told me that Steven and his parents came for a visit. Steven sat far away quietly while his parents asked permission if their son could marry their daughter after two years of calling and visiting. How much did my parents want? After all, Steven’s father paid over $30,000 for his wife (10 years younger than he). His grandfather was Nationalist went to Taiwan in 1949 when KMT lost. The locals call them province outsiders (外省人), then they came came to US, the locals call them Chinese. When they finally was able to visit China, the locals call them Taiwanese.
     My parents were shocked; they had never been asked such a question before, but only heard such stories from their parents. Maybe people in remote areas of China still held this custom, but not in the cities since 1949.
     My parents told them that they were not selling their daughter; they did not want a penny from them as long as they both wanted to marry each other. Steven’s parents thought that my parents were losing their daughter to them, so after all those years raising her as a good daughter, it was reasonable to ask compensation. My parents married in 1958 all by themselves with a group of their coworkers and friends. They practically put two single beds together, after giving a few candies to everyone who came for the wedding.
     Steven went back to China and married my sister there, then came back to the US to start the immigration process. It took another two years before my sister was able to join him in NH. His parents had a formal wedding banquet in Chinatown with ten tables. Each table had ten people. The newlyweds had to kneel down on the floor and bow to the sky, the ground, both parents, and each other. I only saw this in old Chinese movies. The banquet food covered almost everything, seafood of every kind, chicken, pork, beef…plus a wedding cake. It was beautiful.
     They had a boy and girl. They moved away from NH down south since my sister could not stand the cold winter in the north. Steven wanted to live his own life away from his parents’ shadow. He was out of the restaurant business, eating less and his high cholesterol was in normal range again. His whole family used to go to gambling places every Christmas when they closed their restaurants. My sister, my mother, and I never went with them. They now stayed home for Christmas for three years. My sister is teaching Chinese in the local Chinese school.
     Steven’s parents were heartbroken when all their kids gave up their restaurant business. It was a perfect business in which the whole family could be working together. However, their kids got tired of waiting on tables, long working hours, and no weekends and holidays. They all moved down South, and bought their own houses. They left their parents no choice but to sell one business, and hired all the other employees for the other restaurant.

 

Pao's (鲍) Family Garden

For Chinese Women, Marriage Depends On Right 'Bride Price' Payback for my grandmother's generation.

Going Back to Work Full Time

Although my parents gave $4000 for the kids, my parents did not feel comfortable using my husband’s money for trips. I told them I worked at home whenever there was a project. My mom felt sorry for me not working after being in school for so long. She wanted me to find a job, and we thought it best for me to find a part time job nearby. I went to the library and found the local job postings. There was a job at a local emergency response center. Sara, who studied wildlife before and now was working in the accounting department, wanted me to work full-time right away.  I told her that I would go home and discuss it with my parents since they were the ones who were going to watch my three sons during the day. After I told them I found a full time job, my father said he would stay for a year to help me out. My mom did not say anything.
     I was shocked to walk into the office and find a woman at my desk working. Sara told me that she was leaving and she did get up and leave. She looked like she had been crying. I was very uncomfortable to watch her go; I could have worked part time. My officemates told me that she had a lot of personal problems and she just could not do her job. Very soon, I found out that the billing was a mess; cash was not posted into the right account or posted more than once.
     The supervisor Kathy was a single mom. She flew through whatever she wanted me to know in five minutes, and then the phone rang. She went to pick up her phone at her desk. She wanted me to ask her questions if I had any. Yes, I did have questions; she wanted me to write them down and she would take care of them. I would not hear from her again.
     I was familiar with the DOS system while in college, which soon switched to Windows. Lee set up the whole system, so I went to see him. In the beginning, he was very defensive while explaining to me how his system worked. Slowly, he became very supportive after I showed him the problems. The problems were both human errors and system problems. I asked him to show me how to fix the human errors. For example, double posting cash so the customer would not get the bill. Cash posted into the wrong customer’s account. System errors occurred such as new customers did not show up in billing. These were things that his program was supposed to do. He wanted me to give him a list of what I wanted the system to do; he then wrote patch programs to improve his system. I wanted his program to print a list of cash posting amounts that did not match the billing amounts, likely posted to the wrong customer. I wanted his program to catch double payments in the same month.
     He did all the things that I wanted him to do. I was happy how much easier that made my job, when you talk about over 10,000 customers for billing and cash posting.
     I showed Kathy all the double postings and asked her to be careful in the future. Double-check the print out. I did not tell upper management. She did not show up the next day; she called in sick. Then a week went by, so I called her, and asked her if she was better. She said she was not better; she would not be back working anymore, and she was looking for another job. I told her that we do need her here; I hoped she would not take anything personal about the mistakes I found. She said it was good that I found all those mistakes and I should be the next supervisor. She had been there over five years, and Lee had never helped her. I came in for a few weeks; and he was so cooperative to help me.
     Lee told me that 20 years before, he and the owner George were sent to find a buyer for the company, but instead George brought the company himself. The two of them had been running it since. He had not written any programs for so long and he forgot most of the language. Everyone who came had always complained about his system; they wanted the owner to change his old DOS to a Windows-based program. So he had been on the defense for years. I was the first one who was willing to work with him and helped him improve his system.
     I told him that I was privileged working with programmer. Buying a new program package with a telephone-sized manual without on-site support would be worse. Not to mention, it would cost a lot of money to replace the system, money the company did not have.
     His son came in to work with him on college breaks, so I asked about his wife, he said, “which one?” I was shocked and asked how many did he have?; he said three in his over 50 years. He was living with his girlfriend now.
     In one year, I cleaned up the billing, was promoted three times, and became the supervisor. Some customers who called wanted to speak to me only. “ I want to speak with that girl with Irish accent.” We thought it was very funny. It was not funny for me; every one of my customers had a sad story. They just wanted to talk many times since I corrected their billing. One sent me a picture of her dog; later, her daughter called to cancel the services because her mother had died.
     Most of the people working there were young high school dropout kids. They came and went at a high turnover rate. Our customers were mostly old, sick, and dying; most stayed as clients for three months to a year. I had over 10,000 customers for billing each month. We had a data entry center, and just entered new and took out old clients. Also, a monitoring center was open 24/7. One morning when I walked into the office, a girl was crying, and I asked her why. Her supervisor had yelled at her for something that was not her fault. I checked into it and agreed with her. So, I told her to explain to her supervisor or I could go to her supervisor to help her explain. I did not like her supervisor even though I only dealt with him once when I asked him about his morning report. Instead of giving me the report, he let me wait so he could finish eating his popcorn at 9 AM. Then, he showed me how many kinds of vitamins he took everyday.
     The girl told me not to talk to her supervisor because she really needed this job; she needed to pay her mom rent or she would become homeless. I was joking with her; now, your mom cannot kick you out, can she? She said that was not funny; she was homeless before when her mom kicked her out. Yet her mother kept her dog. Sad to say, she was fired two weeks later.
     I felt so bad for both ends of the wire at the monitoring center. Our side were all teenagers struggling very hard to keep their heads above water. The other side were old, dying, and struggling very hard to live. One day when I walked out of the accounting office, I saw this boy’s hair glowing blue. I thought I was at the computer for too long, but it turned out that this boy had dyed his hair blue. As low as their income was hourly, they spent their money like there was no tomorrow. So before payday came, they were broke already. They ordered their lunch everyday. Every now and then, one lunch would be short. The delivery guy said he delivered all the orders, and the one who did not get the lunch ended up crying. I brought my lunch everyday from home. Their parents should have taught them how to use their money wisely.
     One day, our CFO brought in her sister-in-law. She wanted Sara to train her how to do her job, so Sara did not have any choice but to teach her. A few weeks later, Sara was forced out. I had a very hard time accepting Sara’s leaving since we had so much in common. The sister-in-law was not very good to work with. Once she ordered some very expensive computer supplies on-line, and Lee was upset. I told her she should really have asked Lee since it was his field of expertise. She was upset with me and wanted me to have a private talk with her in the office. Basically she wanted me on her side no matter what. I was shocked to see her putting her own interests above the company. As it was, our company was struggling to pay bills. I decided to look for another job.  Sadly this company does not exit anymore.
     I moved on to another full time accounting job nearby my home. I had a lot of adjustments to make after being at home for 10 years taking care of my children. Moreover, I did not to notice my parents also went through a huge change, suddenly becoming grandparents in a foreign country with a foreign son-in-law. One day my cousin in the UK called; he called me one day when I was not at home. My father told him a lot of things my cousin did not think could be true. I suddenly realized that my father had not smoked for almost a year without any complaints. I had not noticed anything wrong at home. My parents and I went up to the 3rd floor for a closed-door meeting. My mom did not have a word to say and my father started crying. He said he was sorry about complaining about me to my cousin; he did not know what he was saying. I was crying as well; I told them that I was sorry for not paying much attention to them after work. I took them for granted since they were my parents. If they wanted to return to China, I could always stay home again till my kids were a little older. After a long cry, my parents decided to stay a few more years till Joseph was older since they really loved him and were attached to him.

My Parents Came To Visit

In 1999, we bought a Toyota Sienna since our 3rd son would soon be born and my parents were coming. My father had never visited the US. He did not like me bugging him to quit smoking, I asked him to come for a visit and he kept refusing until now. My father brought two cartons of cigarettes; I told him he had to go outside of the house to smoke and after he finish his two cartons, I would not buy anymore. He smoked two packs, and then quit cold turkey.
     We took my parents along with us on a car trip up to Arcadia National Park. We enjoyed walking around Bar Harbor then driving through the national park and up Cadillac Mountain. It was the first time for me to climb a mountain next to the ocean. We had lobsters for dinner. It was our first long family vacation.
     After we returned home, Richard broke his elbow while playing with his friends in the backyard. After spending four hours in our local hospital, they recommended us to go to Children’s Hospital because Richard needed surgery. We had our two cars parked at the local hospital, then rode with Richard via the ambulance to Boston about 6 PM. We waited for another four hours till midnight. The surgery was supposed to take over one hour; I was scared because one of the sisters in Jonathan’s class died from a very simple surgery in the same hospital a few years before. So I told Richard to make sure to wake up when I called him later. He did not cry when they wheeled him in, considering he was only five years old. Anthony and I were the only ones in the waiting room. Three hours later, he finally came out. The surgeon said he was trying to reset it; at first, but it did not work, so it took awhile. I went to Richard right away, try to wake him up, he answered me, but he went right back to sleep.
     After a few months when I took him back to have the screws removed from his elbow, he was screaming and wanted the doctor to put him to sleep first even though the doctor said it would not hurt. It sure looked like it was going to hurt. The doctor went out, and came back three times before Richard finally allowed him to remove the screws. That was the first time I went to the children’s hospital. I am so grateful that our children are healthy.
     My friend Wei-lin and her parents came to visit her as well. Together our two families visited Howe Caverns; they said they had seen better ones in China since they were all geologists. Then we went to visit our graduate college where we had spent eight years, and the neighborhood where Jonathan spent his first two years. We stayed with Anthony’s parents in Rochester overnight then visited Niagara Falls.

Joseph Was Born, My Youngest Aunt Ju-hua (举华) Died

My youngest son Joseph Maximilian Brach was born in the Spring of 1998. Since Joseph was Anthony’s both grandfather’s name, father’s middle name, and youngest brother Kevin’s middle name, we named our son Joseph. We gave him the middle name Maximilian after St. Maximilian Kolbe. I was sorry that I did not name a Joseph earlier since I kept having boys; now their grandfather on both sides should be happy.
     Anthony took Jonathan and Richard came to see the baby in the hospital, the baby was not in my room so Jonathan stayed with me in the room; Anthony and Richard went to the nursery to get our baby. The nurse decided that they should wheel the baby’s nursery bed to my room, so the boys could enjoy their little brother. Richard was so excited and he was half running trying to keep up with everyone walking in the hallway to my room. He said, “Daddy, wait until mommy sees the baby we picked out for her.”
     When I called my mother to tell her the good news, she started to cry. First I thought she was too happy, then realized that something really bad happened. After a long cry, she finally told me that my aunt, her youngest sister had died while crossing street. My mother did not want to give me stress while I was expecting Joseph knowing that I was very close to her. I suddenly realized that I did have a few dreams about her, and told Anthony at the time.
     She died on Jan 7th, 1998, exactly the same day her older brother died two years before. She was only 53. I received a letter she wrote a week before she died. That was the first and last letter she wrote to me, she was talking about her family, her two daughters. Her letter reminded me of the good times that we had in Zigong years before. I missed her so I dreamed that we went shopping together. The street looked like the street in US, but crowded with Chinese people. Then we were at a crosswalk waiting for the light to turn with many other people. When the walk light came on, I was ready to cross, but my aunt was not next me, I turned around looking for her in the crowd, but I could not find her. I was worried in my dream; I was looking all over for her. She did not cross at crosswalk. My dream made sense now. 
     I felt so bad. My youngest aunt died on the same day as my youngest uncle; what kind of fate was that? I asked my mom how much money I should send to her family since it was so late. She said she already sent money with my name too. Still I sent $150 to them to make myself feel better. Strange things happened after that; I dreamed that my aunt came to visit me in my house here in US. She brought two tickets to watch a play "Miss Saigon" at the Wang Theater in Boston. She told me that she would watch my three boys; Anthony and I could go since we had never went out alone. Although it was my wish to watch the play at the time. I asked her why she spent money on me since she or me could not really afford the tickets. Chinese money was 8 Yuan to 1 dollar at the time. We were in our unfinished basement arguing about the tickets. I did not question why we were down there instead of my living room or kitchen; in my dream, it was almost normal and accepted. It only felt strange after I woke up. Then my cousin returned my check with a thank you card. Somehow I did not date the check. She could not cash the check in China. That was weird because I never forget to put the date on the right corner when I wrote a check. My aunt must have known that we were struggling with Anthony’s salary alone raising a family of five with a huge mortgage to pay. She must have made me forget the date. I dated the check and sent it out again.
     My youngest aunt used to take me on her shoulders back and forth to the local clinic. I was sick almost all the time.  I spent a lot of time with her when I was living with my grandparents.

My Youngest Uncle (Guan Ju-biao官举彪) Died

My youngest uncle (官举彪) died from a shrimp allergy on Jan 7th, 1995 at age 57. He did not know he was allergic to ocean shrimp. His oldest son came home from the southeast Hainan Island with jumbo shrimps (farm raised/pollutions?). He was swollen right after, but no one in the hospital knew why since he lived so far inland. He wanted to wait till his son left before going to see doctor since his son only came home once a year for a few days. It was too late when he went to the hospital; he could not breathe because he was drowning. His three sisters and oldest brothers were surrounding his bed; he was begging to his big brother. “Help me, brother, I cannot breathe.” My mom said it was helpless, they watched him died.
     My oldest uncle still cries when he talks about his little brother.     In the Cultural Revolution (1960s), my youngest uncle was dragged out from his house and put on display as a Russian spy, since he went to Kiev Polytechnic Institute for college and knew seven languages. They raided his home and took away all his valuables, since they could not find any evidence of wrongdoing. They even took away his radio, so he had no way of knowing what was going on in the outside world. One day, someone pushed him down from a high place and he broke his neck; he almost died. His wife Wang (王) took him to the hospital right away; his life was saved, but his neck was set looking forward only; he could not turn or move his head around anymore. He could not bend his back either; he was like a robot afterward. He also had Tuberculosis.

 Guan Ju Biao (官举彪) #15 in boys) July 14, 1937 to January 7, 1995.  He went to Kiev Polytechnic Institute to study Electrical Engineering in 1957, then the University of Electronic Science and Technology of China (成都电讯工程学院). He worked for the National Defense Factory

    I had dreamed about someone who was surrounded by a group of people. The man was so pale and I could not figure out who the man was. The next day, I was joking to my husband that I hoped Fred was okay since he often needed the ambulance and fire department’s emergency help in the middle of the night. Anthony said, “you and your dreams. How could I never remember my dreams?". Later on when I saw Fred’s wife, she told me that Fred was fine. Not long after, my mom described how my youngest uncle died. I realized that my uncle was in my dream. After all, he was the one right there like my father when I came into this world. He had two boys and I was the daughter he did not have. He showered me with gifts when I was young, and tried to take my pictures when I was mad. I was very sad about his passing, why him? He suffered so much. Now his kids had grown up, and he was retired. He should have enjoyed his life a little. It scared me thinking about his being gone.
     I did dream about him later. It was at a train station; I used to take an overnight train to visit him and his family. Somehow, I was walking alongside the train trying to board. He was walking towards me from the opposite direction. He walked by me telling me to go to his house for dinner. So we were passing by. Then I kept walking along the train, trying to find a car to get on. My uncle walked towards me the second time; he was telling me the same thing while passing by me. He was trying to tell me something. He wanted me go to visit his home.
     His oldest son made good money for a few years; he had a girlfriend who gave him a son. He told me the boy was not his. He never intended to marry her so she took the boy back home to her farm. I did try to ask our family Guan to keep the boy, but nobody was interested. Soon the money was gone and he lost his good job. His younger brother stayed with their parents after he graduated from the University; he could never hold a job for long. Our family had been helping them. Now my uncle did not want us to abandon his family after he was gone.

   VITAS 2010.03.05 聖母頌 / Ave Maria_Moscow