Friday, January 3, 2014

Time Flies, Invisible Killers

It seemed like yesterday when we bought our over hundred year old colonial house in 1993, not long after the house across the street from us was also bought and the new owner moved in. We were all raising our children at the same time.
     Our street is a short street that only people who live on the street come in and go out. Our backyard is not so big so the kids took over the street.  They played baseball, basketball, football, street hockey, kick the can, soccer or just rode their bikes up and down the street. Since most of the houses are colonial, there is a flight of stairs to the front door.  Mothers always sat on the front porch or stairs watching for cars to keep the kids safe. "Car, Car" one of us yelled, the kids got out off the street while the car slowed down, rolling down the window to talk to the kids.  It was usually someone's father coming home from work.
     My next door neighbor on the right had three boys too, but older. Their stay-at-home mom loved to make things at home; she made team flags for each one of her son's sports teams and hung them by the front door when they were playing. Her sister had two boys who lived across the street from her. The two sisters were born on the street, two of twelve children. When the kids grew up, the sisters moved away and the new next door neighbors were a young couple without any children, so they did not slow down when they came back from work and they yelled at children on the street. The housing price has doubled since we bought our house, so it was understandable for the young couple to worry that a ball would touch their house. Two fathers decided to knock on their door and encourage them to be watch out for the children and to be nicer to them. Maybe they got the message, since they sold their house soon after and moved away. But before they moved away, one of my car tires on their side of the driveway was slashed at night.  I ended up spending over $300 to replace it. We were the only ones nice to them and talked to them, so I do not think they did it. I guess the Chinese saying 失财免灾, which means losing money to avoid disaster applies here.  A young couple and their daughter moved in and fit right into the neighborhood.
     My next door neighbor on the left is an older couple whose children are already grown up and moved out; their grandchildren visit them sometimes. Across from them was another couple, also older with grandchildren. They told us the stories from the last generation. There used to be 96 children on the street. In another house, a mother who had twelve children lived there with three unmarried daughters till she died. The new owner of the house was a minister who had three children.  They lived there only two years because his church closed down and he lost his job. I was very sad because I did not think a minister had to find a job like the rest of us; his kids played so well on the street.  So I suggested that he should convert to Catholicism, since there is a severe shortage of priests. He refused my suggestion and moved back to his wife's parents house in the Midwest till he could find another church. A young couple with a baby bought the house and moved in.
     I skipped a year for my mammogram since a colleague of mine had breast cancer and she was wondering if the mammogram actually gave her cancer.  She had no history of cancer in her family and she ate healthy food and was in good heath for her yearly check-up. All of sudden, she had breast cancer and she could not figure out why.  My mother is over 80 years old and she had a mammogram only once or twice. The mammogram office called me after my normal check up, asking me to go to the Breast Cancer Center for the second check up because they found some abnormal growth. It was the first time for me go to the Breast Cancer Center, which was a 4 or 5 story building all by itself. The mammogram machine was on the fourth floor, which I wished would have been at the first floor entry.  The waiting area was beautifully decorated; there were two woman already sitting there when I arrived.  One looked older than me and one younger.  After I sat down next to them, I noticed the beautiful watercolor painting on my left.  The little plate under the painting made me shiver because it read "In Memory of  XXX".  Three of us were sitting there watching the TV in front of us. Although I was staring at the TV like the other two, I was not watching.  I felt the cancer above us made the three of us run around as in "musical chairs" and we were powerless. I was fortunate to leave first after they told me I was fine, but they reminded me to make sure I get a mammogram every year. They made me feel that if I skipped it, I would get cancer. I also felt bad for the other two as if I left them behind and I felt guilty.
     An Irish mother across the street from us came down with breast cancer a few years ago and she died from a second form of cancer. She was my age and her husband was my husband's age. We both had three kids. Her wish was to see her youngest son's high school graduation, but she did not even get that wish. Her next door neighbor also died from cancer a few years ago; she used to watch her niece's daughter and we used to push their kids in strollers, walking around.  I was trying to ask her to stop smoking as I told everyone I know who smokes. She joked with me that if she died from lung cancer, I should just give her a dozen carnations. A month later, two houses down from us, a father died from cancer. The houses behind, and on both sides of us all have family members fighting cancer.
     Right after Christmas, a co-worker of mine died unexpectedly from kidney failure. I still remember the last co-worker who was having a heart attack all day long and thought he had a stomach flu. A few days later, a co worker who used to work with my husband died in his hotel room while attending a meeting in Florida. They shared the same first name, same birthday, same birth year and also a German-like last name.
      It scared me at night before I fell to sleep, thinking about the invisible killers around us. Death around us. My heart felt heavy and I felt helpless.  To calm myself down, I prayed every way I knew, the Catholic way. the Buddhist way, and even the ghost chase way when I prayed for my grandmother.
      Life really only needs fresh air, fresh water, and simple, fresh food. The following is a good example of the way life should be.

China's Enclave of Centenarians
    Food is the most important factor for survival after fresh air and water. China had 80% of its people as small family farmers, and farming was the most important throughout Chinese 5000 year history. China had a very strong tradition of putting agriculture first. The official, after passing the most difficult test, was the highest class, the second class the farmer, the lowest class the merchant and businessman because they make a living from all the other people's work. After the Industrial Revolution and the two World Wars, capitalism and greed took over the world. 3% of the population remained as farmers in Europe and the US. China lost 20% of its farmers (total population1.4 billion) during the last 30 years. Now, China is following Europe and America with only about 3% of the population as farmers. Food production became a mass-cloning operation for maximum industrial production and for maximum profit. Fast food took over the world. Monoculture crops and gene alterations took over natural diversity because profit rules. We bred crops in which no pest was interested, or lethal to pests as if we are different than pests.
     We create so much human-made material from industrial to household goods and altered the world in which we live. We polluted our air and water. Our body genes simply go crazy try to adapt, our poor body simply tries to adapt to every change in the world. To solve the problems that we created, there are more antidepressant drugs. A whole institution of scientists either re-educates children or re-educates the losers. Every now and then, some madness comes out of nowhere and the madmen basically wants to destroy the whole world.
     The most dangerous things are global pursuits of the same thing. If everyone lived like Americans, we would need over 4 Earths to sustain our lifestyle. Freedom is not free; nothing is free, someone has to pay for the freedom. We are part of nature, not above it and we are connected with everything around us. Everything we do or change will affect others (not just another human but everything around us). The others will always bounce back to reach the new equilibrium, which may or may not include our human race since Natural Rules. We have to decide how much is too much and where are we going as the human race?





Cancer: A global threat  
Vast Study Casts Doubts on Value of Mammograms

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Guan Zhong Pu's (众(忠)仆) Book - from Our Great Grandfather Rong's First Wife Chen (陈)

Our great grandfather Rong (1743-1798) had six sons and two daughters from his marriage with two wives, Chen (陈1742-1763) and Tong (童1745-1807). My mother's family is from the second wife Tong's descendants who left and never returned; Guan Zhong Pu's 众(忠)仆 book is about the first wife Chen's descendants who stayed. The story is very similar to our family, which rose and fell with the country. Another great mother held the family together. The only difference is that we call the farm Guan Jia Ba (官家坝) and they call it Chen Jia Ba (陈家坝).  Guan married to Chen and brought the land from Chen family.
     This post is from Laio's youngest son Ju Len's (举能) memoirs, titled "My Suffering Mother" (苦难的母亲), published by his son Guan Zhong Pu's (众仆) who born in 1948, entitled "Finding My Niche". In order to keep his generation name but not break the government new rule, his parents used "众" instead of "忠", the two words sounds similar but are spelled differently. His older brother was 众志.
     The first wife Chen (陈氏) had two children. The first one Huai Lee (怀礼) died young and the second son Lee Ren (立仁) was born in 1763. Lee Ren had three wives Lan (兰), Wu (吴) and Zhu (朱), but only Zhu gave him a son Chen Sheng (成圣1796-1857). Chen Sheng married Wu (吴) and had four sons. The oldest son Zhao Zuo (朝佐1812-1883) married Zhang (张) and had four sons and a daughter. Ting Ji (廷玑1847-1914) was the second son. His courtesy name was Yuan Fa (源发) with a pseudonym or alias (號) was 富有源登仕佐郎. He married Lin (林1849-1886) and had  a daughter and two sons (Xuan Ji 选楫 and Xuan Yi选一).

The older son Xuan Ji (选楫 1872-1929) had three wives. 
The first wife Huang (黄 1892-1902) gave him three sons.
  1. The first son was given as a child to his cousin Xuan Ling (选遴) who did not have son. This son later married to Zhen (曾氏) when he grown up.
  2. The second became the oldest son Ju Qi (举麒 1899-) whose courtesy name Weiming (卫民) means "protect the people." He also married into the Zhen family (曾春莺) who gave him a daughter. China went into chaos; war lords fought and the widespread opium entered the Guan family. The liquor store in Chengdu was managed by Weiming (卫民).  He was not really interested in the liquor business; the family accountant said the amount of money Weiming (卫民) gave out could keep the whole family from hunger for the rest of their lives.  He was a good student. Gongsun Zhangzi (公孙长子), whose father was Weiming's private teacher, was a member of Sun Yat-sen's Tongmenghui (同盟会). He eventually introduced Weiming into the Nationalist party Kuomintang. Weiming left home after closing down the liquor store to join his friend Gongsun Zhangzi (公孙长子) who was the Chief staff of Yuan Deji (袁德基). Weiming was the secretary for awhile, and later went to General Li Ja Yu (李家钰). He came home and showed off his gun to his parents who had never seen a gun before. He taught his father Xuan Ji how to fire it and his father was really scared. He treated his step-mother Liao (廖) well. He later became a warlord over a thousand men in Hubei; some said he was killed by his own because most of his followers were native of Hubei and he was not. He never came back and only some of his poetry is still around. For example, he wrote a memorial of Song Jiaoren (宋教仁), a founder of the Kuomintang who was assassinated in 1913 after leading his Kuomintang party won China's first democratic elections. Yuan Shikai was responsible for his assassination. 鸿门不杀刘, 霸图从此休. 勿将成败论, 气慨负千秋. The poem expressed his anger over Yuan's assassination. Yuan declared himself emperor in 1915 and died in 1916, the country descended into more than a decade of warlords.
  3. Then the second Jiming (济民1901-) married Wang (王) and had a son and daughter. He was addicted to opium, and stole all the valuables from his home, eventually even clothes. His step-mother had to hide valuables in her second floor bedroom. One day, he went up there and tried to steal his mother's clothes to sell them for opium. His step-mother caught him on the stairway; he pointed a spear at his step-mother Liao (廖) and wanted her to move out of his way. His step-mother did not and others came and chased him away. He died among the homeless on the street.
The second wife Li (李1884-1910) gave him a son and a daughter.
  1. Ju Wu (举武1905-1958) married Li (黎氏)whose father was Ju Ren (举人). They had a son and daughter. He was also addicted to opium.
  2. Ju Su (举淑1908-1984) had an arranged marriage with the son of Zhang Quenyou (張群友) who was county governor of Sui Ding (绥定 today's Dazhou 达州). The son Zhang Daozhen (张道震) did not want to marry Ju Su because he had his lover in Nanjing (南京), so his powerful father went to Nanjing and captured him and dragged him back to marry her. He left and never came home; ten years later they ended up divorcing. Then she married Shi Xue Yi in Nanjing (南京中华门军人史学义).
The third wife Liao (史家廖氏1876-1948) gave him three more sons.
Xuan Ji's (选楫) 3rd wife Liao (廖)
  1. Zhi Ming (治民1902-1959) married Wan Suling (万淑林 1905-1977) and had a daughter. He was addicted to gambling, and also contracted a sexually transmitted disease. He came back with an expensive suit and a gold ring on his finger; he even had a gold tooth. He wanted his mother to sell the family courtyard, the only thing the whole family had left, and with the money he could start a new business. His mother was scared since her husband had died, unsure yet with no other choice, she went along with him, and sold the house to the Zhang family. It only took a few years for this son to lose everything and run away from home again. The family finally fell apart, lost everything. One thing he did that was great was to transfer his mother's coffin to his own land, which was from the communist land reform. He hired over 20 young men to dig up his mother's coffin, and carry it over 20 miles to rebury her there.  That make it possible for his mother's third move back home next to his father in 1958. Zhi Ming died from a beating punishment for stealing food during the Great Chinese Famine.
  2. Ju Xian(举贤1916-1988) married Zhang LiRong (张丽容 1921-) and had one son and four daughters. He tried to get into Whampoa Military Academy (黄埔军校)14th class, but failed. Mao Kuan (毛坤) suggested that he go to electrical engineering school instead. Ju Xian finished the Electrical Engineering School and went to Sui Ding (绥定 today's Dazhou 达州) to teach high school, because Zhang Quenyou (张群友县长) was in charge of the county. Red Army Xu XiangQian (徐向前) fought his way in and kicked out Zhang Quenyou. Ju Xian lost his teaching job. He went back to Wuhan again; this time he passed Whampoa Military Academy (黄埔军校)17th class. After he graduated, he was in charge of a local artillery unit in Yibin (宜宾). Soon he was sent to Chongqing (重庆经检大队) as a secretary. After Japan surrendered in 1945, he was sent back to his hometown Bei Mu Town as the Police Chef. He locked up his older brother Ju Wu (举武) in jail to break his opium addiction. Later Communists accused him as one of KMT spies (军统特务); he lost everything and depended on his wife's income and lived poorly till the late 1970s. His name was cleared and he was able to go back to work and meet his friends again. He also became an active member of mainland KMT party and alumnus of Whampoa Military Academy (黄埔军校).
  3. Ju Len (举能1920-2001)'s courtesy name was Ji Gizi (楫季子) which means the youngest son of the boat. He went to Zizhong Teacher's College (资中联立师范) and Shu Hua high school (蜀华高中) in Chengdu. Graduated from Sichuan Teacher's College in Chengdu (四川师范大学). He taught Chinese. He was the principal of two grammar schools, chairman of the labor union for number five high school. He was the fifth (5 届)people's representative for the town of White Horse to Beijing. Published many papers and books. He died on May 22, 2001; his ashes were scattered into the mother river Toujing (沱江), then Yangze River eventually flowing into the Pacific
        As noted above, this post is from Laio's youngest son Ju Len's (举能) memoirs, entitled "My Suffering Mother" (苦难的母亲), published by his son Guan Zhong Pu's (众仆) who born in 1948, entitled "Finding My Niche". Zhong Pu is in my generation Zhong (忠). He also graduated from Sichuan teacher's college and taught Chinese. He was assistant principal of the White Horse school and a member of the Sichuan's Author's Club. Married to Liu Wanying, he had one son, who is also a teacher. This son had one daughter whose family name was changed back to Shangguan.
    Zhong Pu's (众仆) book and himself
The younger son Xuan Yi (选一)'s courtesy name was Shao Young (少扬). He had two wives Laio and Lo (廖氏,罗氏). He was always sheltered under his older brother Xuan Ji, living a confortable life till the family bussiness went down. Xuan Ji's wife and children continued taking care of them and their family.
The first wife Laio ( 廖氏) had 4 sons and a daughter.
  1. Ju Fang 举方's his courtesy name was Liming(利民) which means "for the people". He was a good farmer, his two sons too worked on the farm.
  2. Ju Jie 举介's courtesy was Fu Shen(富生); he was a commander under Li Jia Yu (李家钰)in 1925. Later on he was addicted to opium; his wife took their two kids back to her mom's home. He died homeless on the street.
  3. Ju Ming (举岷) opened his own opium den and he was also addicted to opium. His wife had affairs with other men during their marriage. Normally, this woman would have been sunk to the bottom of the river for her adultery, if our family court system was working. But the Guan family had fallen apart. She left right away after his death with another man.
  4. Ju Yue (举钺) was a farmer first, then joined the army and died on the front line. His young and beautiful wife Zhu(祝) was forced to remarry by her in-laws. They asked for so much money from the groom which made her feel like she was sold. Only Xuan Ji's wife Liao (廖) told her that she would always be a member of the Guan family.
The second wife Lo (罗氏) had two sons. She was one of the two whom married into the Guan family on the same day, yet she had a welcome wedding. When she had her son, she hired a milk mother to breastfeed her son and a maid to do all the house work.
  1. Ju Hong 举宏's courtesy name was Wanlin (万伶), he was a spoiled child. Later he was also addicted to opium and gambling. He stole from family and friends, eventually dying from falling into a ditch. 
  2. Ju Zhao 举朝's courtesy name was Ximing(新民). He was a lazy bully spoiled by his mother.
    The older son Xuan Ji (选楫1872-1929) brought his family wealth to the peak. He was a hard worker and brilliant manager with over 100 employees. He ran silk, sugar and candy, food, wine and liquor businesses. His shops were not only in Bei Mo town, but also in Neijing and Chengdu. His net income was over 10 million at the time. He built their grand family courtyard and brought his parents over from the farm. He went to the farms to check on his sugar cane and other crops.
     Xuan Ji's (选楫) third wife was from the Liao (廖) family, whose father was a private teacher. Her first husband died shortly after their marriage. So her second marriage into the Guan family was not welcoming; she was carried in a cold sedan chair through the back door of the courtyard without any celebration. On the same day, his younger brother Xuan Yi (选一) took in his second wife Lo (罗), a virgin from a much larger family in Neijiang. So it was all about her in a grand celebration. Her sedan chair was covered with red satin and fresh flowers proceeded by attendants with lanterns and banners, and musicians. Liao was of the lowest rank of the family, almost like a maid. She was 45 years old when she had her baby son Ju Len.(举能). Xuan Ji's oldest son was over 20-30 years older.
      Then one by one, his business was closed down in the war torn China. Xuan Ji (选楫) was in so much debt and finally ran away from his home from his creditor, abandoning everything. With family friend Zhang's help in Sui Ding (绥定 today's Dazhou 达州), he started a small business. He hoped to save enough money so he could pay back his creditors and go back home. Two of his former store managers showed up to work for him, so did three of his sons, one had an opium addiction, one loved gambling and the second youngest son went to the local school. Instead of letting his son go to opium dens and causing more trouble, he had his useless son smoke opium at his home. His earnings could not even cover his expenses in Sui Ding, leaving nothing to send back home. Xuan Ji (选楫)died May 9, 1929 at age 57. His employees and sons put his body in a coffin on a boat on the Yangtze River, then the Tuo River (沱江) back home. The journey took a little over a month and it was in the summer.
     Back home, Xuan Ji's youngest wife Liao (廖) had been the rock holding his large families together. Xuan Ji's first and second wife had passed away, leaving their troubled children behind. His younger brother Xuan Yi, and his second wife also depended on her since they could not do any house work. She had to do everything inside and outside after her husband left; she had never gone out of the courtyard when her husband was home. She walked all over the town with her bound feet, taking humiliation daily.
      Liao had hoped her husband would come home with money to pay back their creditors so she did not have to beg from the family members, relatives and friends to put food on the table. You could imagine when her husband's body arrived. She was screaming and ran to the coffin while others tried to stop her from opening the coffin. She refused to believe her husband had gone, just left her, his six sons, and all others. No one remembered if she succeeded in opening the coffin. Life after that was terrible, yet she tried her best to hold her large family together till the day she died.
      Ju Len (举能) was only 9 when his father died and he loved to go to school. His mother Liao told him only if he was born ten years earlier, his life would be much better. At least they did not have to beg from others for his tuition. When they had money, his older brothers, except the oldest one Ju Qi (举麒), all lazybones could not get up in the morning or lie about having a headache or tummy ache so they did not have to go to school. One by one, they became spendthrift (败家子). Now depending on his mother's needlework, life was very hard. Ju Len remembered when he and his mother went to Neijiang to visit a relative Zhang (張). His mother was begging for help from the rich family. It was the first time for him to see the splendid displays of a department store. The wife showed off the whole department store and her good son. She said "although I have only one son, my son is better than ten sons of yours". His mother had to be humble and nicely agreed with her, yet cried all the way home.
      Ju Len started homeschooling in his relatives house, after his mom begged them to let her son join private schooling. She did not have money to hire her own private teacher at home. Sometime, Ju Len came home from school and noticed his mother had not started the fire for dinner yet, he did not know they had nothing to cook that day. His older brothers, his uncle and aunt not only stole things in the house to sell; his aunt, second wife of Xuan Yi, even took rice to exchange for some snakes she loved. She was used to have her snakes, sweets or whatever she loved. Ju Len's mother had to hide everything valuable in the house; she also had to fend off warlords pointing guns at her head, demanding money or hidden treasure.
      Ju Len was able to go to a modern school in Neijiang where they were already teaching science and English. Maybe he started with very traditional Chinese home schooling; he preferred Chinese literature over modern science classes. His gym teacher was Guan Weihan (官维翰), native of Luzhou (沪洲), likely Xuan (选) generation since my grandfather's second brother's courtesy name was Guan Weixin (官维新). Weihan graduated from Shanghai Gym Training school (上海东亚体专). He also their boy scout leader taught them survival skills in the woods. They even hiked all the way to Zigong and set up their tents and campfire in a park. Their middle school basketball team won the championship after beating all the teams in Zigong.
Ju Len (举能) with his boy scout uniform
     When Ju Len was 18 years old, he went to Zizhong Teacher's College (资中联立师范). He then transferred to Shu Hua high school (蜀华高中) in Chengdu where he met his wife Wu Dechun (吴德纯) who was the homeschool teacher of Liu Wencai (刘文彩). Her family had already planned her future husband for her, when she was a little girl, to a close family friend. She ended up breaking her arranged marriage so she could marry Ju Len. Her fiancé was cool since he was also a college kid. But when she posted their break up in newspapers, his family would not accept it and they wanted her family to go to Chengdu to take her back, punishing her by their family law. Her family actually went to Chengdu and saw their daughter and backed out from it.
Ju Len (举能) and Wu Dechun (吴德纯) married
     After Zhi Ming, the gambler, lost their family home, His mother moved to Yibin (宜宾) into her second son Ju Xian(举贤)'s home. Ju Len finished school and passed the civic exam and went to the Yibin local department of revenue and finance. His job was to collect gains for the Nationalist Amy and helping get rid of local war lords (征粮剿匪). He married Dechun and lived with his mother. One day in December 1945, after Japan surrendered, the downtown was fully decorated, every door had a flag, security was tight. Around noon, Chiang Kai-Shek (蔣介石), his wife Song May-ling (宋美龄) and Bai Chongxi ( 白崇禧)showed up. They thanked everyone for all their support and the locals celebrated the victory. The small city was filled with cheerful people, with drums and fireworks.
     Ju Len's mother now had something in her tummy as if she was pregnant. First he took her to Zigong to have better doctors for a diagnosis They had to run to shelter right after they checked in to the motel because Japanese planes were dropping bombs. Ju Len saw the planes drop bombs and heard loud explosions. When they finally made it back to the motel, the motel was ruined. They ended up checking into a different motel. They visited a doctor the next day and the doctor told them to come back in the Fall if the bombing stopped. When they finally took her to Chongqing, the doctor told them it was too late. His mother died in 1948 and was buried in Yibin (宜宾), forever a shame for her sons. Ju Len wrote a poem to remember his mother.
 意犹未尽, 情意难尽, 思念亡母, 柔肠寸断.
      Ju Len wanted his mother back home with his father; he was finally able to do it in 1958, ten years after she died. Although it was not allowed by the Communist government, his cousin who knew the procedures for a second burial and they performed the ceremony with the rest of living children. They all knelt at their mother's grave and cried and said sorry to their mother, especially the ones who were addicted to opium and gambling. They gave their mother the most trouble, they felt so bad that they could not get up from the ground. His mother's coffin was moved once before by Zhi Ming (治民)a few years earlier, after he received land from the communist land reform. It was a great comfort to them when they saw their mother's bones were clean, neatly lined inside of the coffin. They each carefully picked up their mother's bones and carefully put them into the jar (葬罐) they had prepared. There was still another problem; how would they transport his mother's bones back home by train, the one route for transportation? Again, one of his cousins decided to use bamboo and made a net to enclosed the jar (葬罐) on the bottom, then made a basket on the top filled up with produce. Ju Len was able to carry his mother's bones back home, and re-bury her next to his father.
     Zhong Pu's (众仆) poem (below), at his mother Wu Dechun's(吴德纯) 90th birthday, summarized her life.  She was born in 1923, with 14 siblings before her.  Her grandparents ran a very good business and also founded local schools. One of her relatives, Wu Yuzhang (吴玉章 1878-1966) was a Chinese politician, educator, and the first president of Renmin University of China from 1950 to 1966.
Wu Yuzhang (吴玉章)
寿母诗
   ——祝家母90大寿而作
   2011年5月31日  
  吾母荣县吴德纯,生于一九二三年。
  祖父办学父经商,十四弟妹行在先。
  
  玉章从孙添灵气,革命名城铸精神。
  不做闺中娇小姐,要当时代新女性。
  
  解放缠足出家门,离开私塾进新学。
  一手好字怡书家,满口英语羡四座。
  
  何惧日机炸古城,重龙山麓读联师。
  不靠家庭靠自己,乐做蜀中童子师。
  
  自由恋爱求平等,登报解除包办婚。
  嫁与书生官举能,不图钱财只爱人。
  
  生五得四皆男儿,志仆平武四好汉。
  相濡以沫半世纪,幸福婚姻一千年。
  
  夫妻主席儿提干,白马官家有名声。
  一打清风做实事,谁言清天难找寻? 
抚养德华一幺妹,照顾二昭两兄弟。
  赡养父母老送终,相夫教子讲孝悌。
  
  一个铜板分两半,老师有食不饿生。
  全身浮肿省一口,大难当头见人心
  
  工会主席二十年,服务教工不是官。
  教书育人一辈子,春风化雨润心田。
  
  别子携夫出夔门,读书行路两相宜。
  天安门前合个影,爱我神州添景致。
  
  勤劳俭朴孺子牛,母仪全家昭后人。
  不办婚丧不祝生,长有媪叟拜寿星。
  
  半生工作半退休,丰年灾年盛世期。
  晚来安享儿孙福,百岁康乐会孔师。
  
  高山仰止歌一曲,景行行止寿母亲!
  屋檐流水点点滴,家风永在一片心。

Please help to rebuild the eleventh generation
(1699-1775) grandfather Guan Yuen Hui ' s tomb: 亟待修复的内江官氏祖坟-云辉公墓
Please wire your donations to Yuen Hui ' s tomb restoration payable to: 
Guan zhong pu (官众仆)
新修内江官氏祖坟外地捐款帐号:   中国工商银行四川内江支行玉溪路分理处
                                                      官众仆 621723 2307000080724
(由本人负责管理海内外捐款,保证每一分钱都用到修祖坟上。重申:人民币1万以上刻碑面、1千以上刻碑阴、100以上记入族谱)
 Wartime Scholars     

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Changing Back to Shangguan from Guan

Our Guan (官) was shortened from Shangguan since the Song Dynasty (960-1279). Guan means official and officials were not well received for a while, especially in the poor regions where the people felt they had been left behind.  They told me they did not want their family name associated with the Official Guan (官), so they changed their family name back to Shangguan.(上官).
    The young and able went to cities to supply the work force for all the "Made in China" products. The number of children left behind by these migrant workers equals the population of Great Britain.  Those children are growing up without their parents.
     I was never interested in politics which was why I never joined any party.  I dislike the party line.  I dislike the way that you have to have someone introduced in order to join the communist party.  I look down on people who bend backwards to please their adviser and report what's on their mind on a regular basis.  I like to keep what's in my mind to myself, I do not like lies.
     My father always blamed himself for sitting on the Dragon Chair by mistake in Xi'an's ( 西安)imperial palace when he was a teenager, guarding the leaders, resulting in his own bad luck. He lost ten years of his best life with my mother resulting in two lost pregnancies my mother had to have. He did not tell me or anyone till Xi Jinping (习近平) took power and he turned 80 years old. He thinks the curse of the bad luck and short life has gone. Xi had submitted ten applications trying to join the communist party,a long journey to the top. My father had faith in him and he hoped he could clean the corruption of the communist party. He said their oil company was asking all government employees to write a self-confession of 1000 words on all aspects of their work, and this made a lot of people lose sleep, especially leaders. Corruption in China is rooted very deep no matter who was in charge so it would be very difficult to completely clean it up.  At least, this would be a warning for all. A very good example was this lowly clerk who issue IDs in the local police station; he made one poor man run back and forth 19 times before giving him his ID.  He was fired recently through this cleanup. 
How Xi Jinping (习近平) became the president of China
    
Princeton Study: U.S. No Longer An Actual Democracy."Winston Churchill famously quipped that “Democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.”  Democracy did not form spontaneously. It was created. It has evolved since it was created, do doubt. But it was created by people who had power. People who apparently gave up that power and voluntarily handed it to other people." see more:  Is Democracy the Opium of the Masses?
     China is much more open today and people could speak out more. When my father's friend, an old retired communist party leader, received a package by mail, he was shocked that it was filled with anti-communist and anti-government materials.  The poor man was so scared that he closed the package right away and tried to figure out who send it to him; he could not sleep at night because he did not know what to do. He could not tell anyone, not even his old wife. Finally, he decided to go to the city police station to report this incident. He had to transfer to two buses to get there.  When he showed the materials to the young policemen, no one was interested to listen to him. Since they could not get rid of him, they told him to wait for their supervisor.  He waited for one hour; finally, the supervisor showed up and looked at the contents of the package.  The supervisor said it was no big deal since he had seen those things around; the old men used old phrases the young supervisor never heard before. He said back then, someone would get killed by doing this.  The supervisor told him that he should learn how to use computers so he could see how much bad posts are out there.  In the end, the old man asked him what to do with the package; the young supervisor said: "this package was sent to you, not me. You could do anything you want with it".  The poor old man carefully guarded the package, taking the bus back home and burned its contents before anyone else could see them.   
     I am not interested in politicians, but still I have met our local mayor, local representatives, and governors at local fairs and gatherings. The first time I had happened to encounter our governor William Weld was in a school fair in Cambridge in the 1990s. He was dressed casually, and wore work boots. I was surprised that he  lined up in the queue like the rest of us for food. We were a few persons behind him. Jonathan was about 3 years old. He talked to people around him and others passed by just calling him "Bill".  I was shocked that he only got a cup of fresh squeezed lemonade and he paid for it just like everyone else there. I know a teacher in a school where many politicians, such as Clinton and Obama's kids go, she told us their kids are just like any other kids and their parents are just like any other kids parents except they have security. 
     Our company recently received government approval for accepting military shipments.  I went through all the procedures to set up the government inspection. When the inspector finally was ready to come, I offered to book a hotel for him and asked him if he had special interests to see Boston, such as the Red Sox. He did not reply to my email, only telling me that he would drive to our area in a week. He showed up one day around 1 PM without prior notification, and went right to work as an inspector at our warehouse.  He came back to the office, made some recommendations, and gave us more forms to sign.  The whole thing took an hour. It was hot outside so I asked him if he needed a cup of coffee or water.  He said he had some water in his car and left right after his work was finished.  I was worried that he would not approve us but he did. It always made my heart bleed to move a "Bluebark" which means to move a deceased young American soldier's personal belonging back to his home. Their belongings are less than 500 lbs most of the time, and their parents are always grateful and thankful. Moving an officer usually will be much more difficult since they usually have a lot more (20,000 lbs).
     Mencius (孟子372-289 BC) said:"民为贵,社稷次之,君为轻" which means rulers need to put people first, country second and themselves last. “君者,舟也;庶人,水也。水则载舟 ,水则覆舟。 from 《荀子·王制》。 The ruler is like a boat and people like water; so the water could let the boat sail or sink.Government officials always come from the people and are for the people. Checks and balance are very important to make sure of fairness and transparency.  Although there is no perfect solution, the democratic free vote and free media are important, not money or power talk.  I hope one day the Chinese people could elect their own leaders freely, no term limits, yet the leaders could get fired daily by its people. Whoever, from Mainland, Taiwan, Hong Kong, or Macau, could do the job the best.  What is best for the country and what is best for the world.  
    

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Richard Went to College and My Father Had a Pacemaker

The oldest children have higher expectations from their parents and themselves. Jonathan was second in his high school class.  The year before him, the second went to Harvard. My son thought he had a chance to get in too since they had very similar backgrounds except he did not consider himself white.  Not mention he had practically grown up at Harvard since Anthony works there. It was 5 PM when he waited in the front of the computer for the news and the email was late. Everything stopped and our whole family was waiting for the news. Then he received the sad news that he was not accepted from Harvard and all the other Ivy Leagues. He went up to his room without dinner and it was first time ever he did not want to eat. The rest of us ate our dinner without a word. I had a very hard time to swallow my food. Jonathan's sad face kept me awake all night and I did not know how to help him.  The next day he told me that he was fine and went back to school. One of his teachers gave him a paper advertisement for Harvard Extension School as a joke. I just hoped it had nothing to do with the fact that he checked his ethnicity as Asian.  I read that  Asian-American applicants are turned away from colleges in disproportionate numbers. Still I support the idea of giving a chance for disadvantaged kids even if it means costing my son's chance, still I hoped it was done fairly, not just Asians pay for it.  Is Harvard Unfair to Asian-Americans?
    Richard was within the top 10 of his class so he was more realistic when he applied to colleges. Although Jonathan had never visited his college (Middlebury College)  before he was accepted, he fell in love with the school as soon as he got there. His two brothers loved it too. Richard applied early decision for the school and was accepted so he did not have to apply to any other school and saved us a lot of application fees.
     My father ended up in the Hospital for observation for two weeks and my mother did not tell us right away. He was cold one night, so instead of waking up the two nurses, he walked home at midnight to get a blanket.  I was very upset with him and my mother about this and the two did not think it was a big deal since the hospital was close to their home.  The hospital in China allows patients to come and go. Why wake them since he was fine and nothing happened?, but what if something happened?
     He was transferred to the best hospital in Chengdu - Huxi Medical. The doctor told my mom that my father needed a Pacemaker; she refused to sign the papers and called my brother. My brother went back right away and stayed till after the procedure. My brother waited one hour in line each time to park in the hospital's underground parking garage and my mom said it was faster taking a bus and walking. The bus has its own lane no other cars could use. My father and my brother's company also sent two persons to visit my father in the hospital with gifts and well wishes.
     My brother hired a helper right away since my mom did not.  It cost 160 yuan per day and he kept my father company 24/7 and took care of whatever my father needed. The rate ranges from 100-300 per day depending upon the patient's needs. Chinese nurses do not do any of the dirty work. You either do it yourself, your family members, or hire a helper yourself. The helper had a small cot next to my father's bed. My mom told us she could take care of my father herself. I asked her to take a taxi and she said why spent 20 yuan instead of taking a free 2 hours bus trip.  She told me how she went to the market every day to get fresh meat, fruits and vegetables to cook for my father, although her cooking was not as good but fresher and healthier than the hospital food.  She also give my father a good message before she went back home and my father would walk her to the bus station.
     Two weeks after the pacemaker, my father was still in hospital.  The doctor told me on the phone that the pacemaker could not take care of his early beats so they were still trying to figure out which medicine was best for him; right now they gave him some kind of herbal medicine in pill-form.
     Two months later, my father was still dizzy in the afternoon. He ended up in the hospital again right before the October holiday. The hospital let him go home from the hospital for a whole week for the holiday, but without checking out since he was still technically an in-patient.
     My sister went to China to help my father. She has been learning about natural healing since she and her family moved to Georgia. While teaching Chinese, she had many opportunities to learn from Buddhist healing masters from Taiwan. She had another Chinese teacher watching her two kids after school, cooking dinner for her husband. Since the Chinese teacher also had a husband, instead of going home without dinner or eating alone, he also came to my sister's house for dinner. My sister's husband is not so happy since she would be gone for two months leaving two kids with him in the morning before the school bus comes. Since it is for parents, he only wished that her kids were older so they could take care of themselves.
    My father made great progress a month after my sister showed up, he was able to calm down by himself, and actually sits down to do some simple Yoga or meditation my sister taught him.  My sister also introduced him to a local natural healing master to guide him. His early heartbeat is finally under control so he does not feel dizzy.
     My mom's younger sister Ju-Ming practices Falun Gong. It was hard to believe that my aunt a member of the communist party and a distinguished geologist with many published papers. Falun Gong changed her so much that she lost faith in everything else. She devoted every minute of her life to Falun Gong and she refused any of her medicine. No one could talk to her unless you wanted to listen to her or join her Falun. She had a stroke a year ago and for the past year has been in and out of the hospital.  The good thing is she has good pension and health care from the government, while her 40 years old unemployed son dreams to have the same benefits his mother has. Her son only worked a few years after college, but has been trying to pass the accounting exam. He refused to join the migrant workers for "slave labor" "Made in China" brands. He could have took his father's place in the father's state owned factory but that factory closed even before his father retired. Most state owned factories closed in China since they could not compete.
      My 82 year old mother has been hooked on "health pills" from the US, Europe for a few years through direct sales; direct sale is banned but somehow still a big business in China. She spent all her pension and savings on them. Those young sales people treat her and her friends like queens with formal lectures about how those pills resulted in a Noble Prize, discussions, massaging and washing their feet, and useless gifts. Sometime she left house 7 AM and my father said as long as she was happy.
     My sister overheard my mom tell her friend that my mother had lung cancer. My poor sister was so scared telling me that she was not even brave enough to ask my mom. I talked to my mom right away and asked her who told her she had lung cancer and where was the report?  She said she went to this Hua Xia Health Clinic and they have this advanced testing that only needed a single hair.  I started to laugh with a big relief.  Mom, a hair could only test whether those kids are yours or not, and obviously they are not.  They would not rob you if they were. She spent over 20,000 yuan of my brother's money buying a healthy pill 10 years supplies. I told her she would live 93, but her drug company could go down the next day.  She hanged up the phone on me. My girlfriend Welin's mom spent over 20,000 yuan on the another health pills that were made in Taiwan. She looked into this drug company and it was a real company but they do not have that kind of drug in Taiwan; it is only produced and sold in mainland China.
     We have been talking about how to take care of my parents since none of us live in the city where they lived. My cousin suggested that my parents move into her two bedroom condo since she is hardly ever there.  She stayed at her mom's building just across from hers so she could take care of her mom and my parents at the same time.  They live on the north side and my parents lives on the east side of the city. She still works full time. My parents refused, then I suggested that they hire a maid at home and they refused since they already have cleaners coming regularly. They want to stay in their own home and of course, it adds to my worries especially when I cannot reach them on the phone. 

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Jonathan Went to College

     A lot happened since 9.11 in the US, financial meltdown -- human destruction, and in China Sichuan Earthquake and Japan Earthquake -- natural destruction.
     Time flies; my parents had gone back to China for close to 10 years. They felt like prisoners here since they do not have friends to talk to and they could not go anywhere without my driving them. Back home, they could talk to the colleagues who worked with them all their life since they live in the very same buildings. Or they could simply visit whomever by just simply ringing their door bells. We had a Manchu neighbor Li when I was in high school, he was a director of the institute. Now their next door neighbor Ma who is Hui (Chinese Muslim) married a Han wife. He was the communist party secretary which was above my father.  Everything is within their walking distance. Although they could wave a taxi anywhere on the street (like New York City now), they prefer to take a bus if they have to go somewhere farther away since it is free for seniors. Since they are over 80 years old, they each get 1000 yuan each Chinese New Year as a reward on top of their pensions. My mom retired when she was 55 and my father was 60. They are lucky! I felt so bad for my mother-in-law, at age 72, she just went back to work earning minimum wage because their retirement money was disappearing due to the bad stock market. They are not alone, so many others lost their money and lost their voice too. Their financial advisor had told them 15 years ago (from one of the world's leading financial management and advisory companies) that their money was safe with them and they could receive a good income until they were 99 years old. My father-in-law said if he had tucked his money under his mattress, it still be there today. Although my father-in-law worked for a multi-national company for over 30 years as a research scientist, his company owned all of his patented inventions. The Great Deformation: The Corruption of Capitalism in America by  David A. Stockman.
      The GDP of the US is 14.99 trillion (2011), $7720 per capita for 313.9 million people. For China: 7.318 trillion and $157 per capita for 1.344 billion people. Somehow, the US owes $1.2 trillion debt to China. In November 2012, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that more than 16% of the people live in poverty in the US, including almost 20% of American children, up from about 14% (ca. 43.6 million) in 2009 and to its highest level since 1993. In 2008, about 13% (40 million) Americans lived in poverty. Between 200,000 and 500,000 Americans were homeless. About 1.56 million people, or about 0.5% of the U.S. population, used an emergency shelter or transitional housing between October 2008 and October 2009.
      I had been working for a independent moving agent (under a bigger worldwide company) for over 10 years now with little savings for my retirement except Social Security if it is still there. My parents spent all their lives working for the oil company. It looked like we had to use oil whether we liked it or not. My brother has been working for an airline in China for over 30 years now and it looks like he is going to work for the same company for the rest of his life.
      About twenty years ago, I started writing my thoughts and memories as a keepsake for my children. It was never finished. Jonathan went to college. I was a little surprised that he was actually interested in history. He took a course called Modern East Asia. He came home and talked about the history he learned and asked me about my family. I really did not know much since I was never interested in history. My high school history returned back to my history teacher right after the test. I felt a little embarrassed after he went back to college. Richard in high school and Joseph in middle school will ask me the same questions soon so I had better be prepared. Still I could not imagine reading a Chinese history book. I could not even read a history novel. I had been a student for so long, the best way for me to learn was through lectures. I found Professor Kenneth Hammond’s “Chinese History 5000” from Yao to Mao, and at the same time I asked my parents to send me whatever they had on our family history.
      I explored my family roots in my second book, "Searching for My Hakka Roots." Modern technology can trace DNA to show one's ancestry via genetics. There is a possibility that I am not who I am by blood since so many Chinese changed their names throughout Chinese history. Just like my cross the hall Manchu neighbor Mr Li in Chengdu, China and Mary from my Church here USA, her family name "Wang" as she knows is not her true Manchu family name. Since it the only family name she knew, she and her larger family of "Wang" will have to defend that name. They will look up to their "Wang" ancestors and follow their good example. I felt so small yet as a part of a family clan, but I have a duty to pass on our family tradition and keep our family's good name.
     Although they knew they had British, French and Italian blood, my three sons have their father's last name "Brach", not related to "Brach Candy". Although most people know how to pronounce "Brach Candy," they always miss pronounce our "Brach."  Since Brach is a German name, they naturally want to know more about the name. His father's ancestors came from Poland in late 1800, but lived on the border of Germany and Austria five generations ago. His cousins have tried to search for their roots, but failed.  Maybe because of their last name, my three sons choose German as their second language over Chinese. My parents, my Chinese relatives, and Chinese friends have always complained that I did not teach them Chinese, as if I could. The first time I heard German without looking at who was talking, I actually thought it was a Chinese dialect, since there are so many dialects I do not understand.  Another time, a person with last name "Han," which is mine, turned out to be a German. He told me Han/Hans are pretty common in Europe. Jonathan had German as one of his majors; he was in Germany for a whole year.  While he was there, he finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life.

Hunan, Chinese civilization center is German ancestry
Jonathan in Germany
Richard in Germany

Monday, February 18, 2013

My Sister Yi (Amy) Married Steven Pao (鲍)

My sister Yi never left home; she worked in the accounting department of the Oil Company my parents worked for all their life. She could not love anyone there since they all knew each other since they were kids. It would be like marrying one’s own sibling. Our ambassador friend from Taiwan introduced us to the Pao (鲍) family in Bristol, NH. The family owned two Chinese restaurants. Their oldest son Steven was looking for a Chinese bride. The ambassador introduced Steven to my younger sister Yi. Steven and Yi wrote to each other and then Steven visited China. I did not have much hope on this, since I introduced a Chinese man that I knew in Boston to my sister before, and it did not happen. Here, we were talking about the other side of the earth.
     One day after I returned home from work, my parents told me that Steven and his parents came for a visit. Steven sat far away quietly while his parents asked permission if their son could marry their daughter after two years of calling and visiting. How much did my parents want? After all, Steven’s father paid over $30,000 for his wife (10 years younger than he). His grandfather was Nationalist went to Taiwan in 1949 when KMT lost. The locals call them province outsiders (外省人), then they came came to US, the locals call them Chinese. When they finally was able to visit China, the locals call them Taiwanese.
     My parents were shocked; they had never been asked such a question before, but only heard such stories from their parents. Maybe people in remote areas of China still held this custom, but not in the cities since 1949.
     My parents told them that they were not selling their daughter; they did not want a penny from them as long as they both wanted to marry each other. Steven’s parents thought that my parents were losing their daughter to them, so after all those years raising her as a good daughter, it was reasonable to ask compensation. My parents married in 1958 all by themselves with a group of their coworkers and friends. They practically put two single beds together, after giving a few candies to everyone who came for the wedding.
     Steven went back to China and married my sister there, then came back to the US to start the immigration process. It took another two years before my sister was able to join him in NH. His parents had a formal wedding banquet in Chinatown with ten tables. Each table had ten people. The newlyweds had to kneel down on the floor and bow to the sky, the ground, both parents, and each other. I only saw this in old Chinese movies. The banquet food covered almost everything, seafood of every kind, chicken, pork, beef…plus a wedding cake. It was beautiful.
     They had a boy and girl. They moved away from NH down south since my sister could not stand the cold winter in the north. Steven wanted to live his own life away from his parents’ shadow. He was out of the restaurant business, eating less and his high cholesterol was in normal range again. His whole family used to go to gambling places every Christmas when they closed their restaurants. My sister, my mother, and I never went with them. They now stayed home for Christmas for three years. My sister is teaching Chinese in the local Chinese school.
     Steven’s parents were heartbroken when all their kids gave up their restaurant business. It was a perfect business in which the whole family could be working together. However, their kids got tired of waiting on tables, long working hours, and no weekends and holidays. They all moved down South, and bought their own houses. They left their parents no choice but to sell one business, and hired all the other employees for the other restaurant.
 
Pao's (鲍) Family Garden

For Chinese Women, Marriage Depends On Right 'Bride Price' Payback for my grandmother's generation.

Going Back to Work Full Time

Although my parents gave $4000 for the kids, my parents did not feel comfortable using my husband’s money for trips. I told them I worked at home whenever there was a project. My mom felt sorry for me not working after being in school for so long. She wanted me to find a job, and we thought it best for me to find a part time job nearby. I went to the library and found the local job postings. There was a job at a local emergency response center. Sara, who studied wildlife before and now was working in the accounting department, wanted me to work full-time right away.  I told her that I would go home and discuss it with my parents since they were the ones who were going to watch my three sons during the day. After I told them I found a full time job, my father said he would stay for a year to help me out. My mom did not say anything.
     I was shocked to walk into the office and find a woman at my desk working. Sara told me that she was leaving and she did get up and leave. She looked like she had been crying. I was very uncomfortable to watch her go; I could have worked part time. My officemates told me that she had a lot of personal problems and she just could not do her job. Very soon, I found out that the billing was a mess; cash was not posted into the right account or posted more than once.
     The supervisor Kathy was a single mom. She flew through whatever she wanted me to know in five minutes, and then the phone rang. She went to pick up her phone at her desk. She wanted me to ask her questions if I had any. Yes, I did have questions; she wanted me to write them down and she would take care of them. I would not hear from her again.
     I was familiar with the DOS system while in college, which soon switched to Windows. Lee set up the whole system, so I went to see him. In the beginning, he was very defensive while explaining to me how his system worked. Slowly, he became very supportive after I showed him the problems. The problems were both human errors and system problems. I asked him to show me how to fix the human errors. For example, double posting cash so the customer would not get the bill. Cash posted into the wrong customer’s account. System errors occurred such as new customers did not show up in billing. These were things that his program was supposed to do. He wanted me to give him a list of what I wanted the system to do; he then wrote patch programs to improve his system. I wanted his program to print a list of cash posting amounts that did not match the billing amounts, likely posted to the wrong customer. I wanted his program to catch double payments in the same month.
     He did all the things that I wanted him to do. I was happy how much easier that made my job, when you talk about over 10,000 customers for billing and cash posting.
     I showed Kathy all the double postings and asked her to be careful in the future. Double-check the print out. I did not tell upper management. She did not show up the next day; she called in sick. Then a week went by, so I called her, and asked her if she was better. She said she was not better; she would not be back working anymore, and she was looking for another job. I told her that we do need her here; I hoped she would not take anything personal about the mistakes I found. She said it was good that I found all those mistakes and I should be the next supervisor. She had been there over five years, and Lee had never helped her. I came in for a few weeks; and he was so cooperative to help me.
     Lee told me that 20 years before, he and the owner George were sent to find a buyer for the company, but instead George brought the company himself. The two of them had been running it since. He had not written any programs for so long and he forgot most of the language. Everyone who came had always complained about his system; they wanted the owner to change his old DOS to a Windows-based program. So he had been on the defense for years. I was the first one who was willing to work with him and helped him improve his system.
     I told him that I was privileged working with programmer. Buying a new program package with a telephone-sized manual without on-site support would be worse. Not to mention, it would cost a lot of money to replace the system, money the company did not have.
     His son came in to work with him on college breaks, so I asked about his wife, he said, “which one?” I was shocked and asked how many did he have?; he said three in his over 50 years. He was living with his girlfriend now.
     In one year, I cleaned up the billing, was promoted three times, and became the supervisor. Some customers who called wanted to speak to me only. “ I want to speak with that girl with Irish accent.” We thought it was very funny. It was not funny for me; every one of my customers had a sad story. They just wanted to talk many times since I corrected their billing. One sent me a picture of her dog; later, her daughter called to cancel the services because her mother had died.
     Most of the people working there were young high school dropout kids. They came and went at a high turnover rate. Our customers were mostly old, sick, and dying; most stayed as clients for three months to a year. I had over 10,000 customers for billing each month. We had a data entry center, and just entered new and took out old clients. Also, a monitoring center was open 24/7. One morning when I walked into the office, a girl was crying, and I asked her why. Her supervisor had yelled at her for something that was not her fault. I checked into it and agreed with her. So, I told her to explain to her supervisor or I could go to her supervisor to help her explain. I did not like her supervisor even though I only dealt with him once when I asked him about his morning report. Instead of giving me the report, he let me wait so he could finish eating his popcorn at 9 AM. Then, he showed me how many kinds of vitamins he took everyday.
     The girl told me not to talk to her supervisor because she really needed this job; she needed to pay her mom rent or she would become homeless. I was joking with her; now, your mom cannot kick you out, can she? She said that was not funny; she was homeless before when her mom kicked her out. Yet her mother kept her dog. Sad to say, she was fired two weeks later.
     I felt so bad for both ends of the wire at the monitoring center. Our side were all teenagers struggling very hard to keep their heads above water. The other side were old, dying, and struggling very hard to live. One day when I walked out of the accounting office, I saw this boy’s hair glowing blue. I thought I was at the computer for too long, but it turned out that this boy had dyed his hair blue. As low as their income was hourly, they spent their money like there was no tomorrow. So before payday came, they were broke already. They ordered their lunch everyday. Every now and then, one lunch would be short. The delivery guy said he delivered all the orders, and the one who did not get the lunch ended up crying. I brought my lunch everyday from home. Their parents should have taught them how to use their money wisely.
     One day, our CFO brought in her sister-in-law. She wanted Sara to train her how to do her job, so Sara did not have any choice but to teach her. A few weeks later, Sara was forced out. I had a very hard time accepting Sara’s leaving since we had so much in common. The sister-in-law was not very good to work with. Once she ordered some very expensive computer supplies on-line, and Lee was upset. I told her she should really have asked Lee since it was his field of expertise. She was upset with me and wanted me to have a private talk with her in the office. Basically she wanted me on her side no matter what. I was shocked to see her putting her own interests above the company. As it was, our company was struggling to pay bills. I decided to look for another job.  Sadly this company does not exit anymore.

     I moved on to another full time accounting job nearby my home. I had a lot of adjustments to make after being at home for 10 years taking care of my children. Moreover, I did not to notice my parents also went through a huge change, suddenly becoming grandparents in a foreign country with a foreign son-in-law. One day my cousin in the UK called; he called me one day when I was not at home. My father told him a lot of things my cousin did not think could be true. I suddenly realized that my father had not smoked for almost a year without any complaints. I had not noticed anything wrong at home. My parents and I went up to the 3rd floor for a closed-door meeting. My mom did not have a word to say and my father started crying. He said he was sorry about complaining about me to my cousin; he did not know what he was saying. I was crying as well; I told them that I was sorry for not paying much attention to them after work. I took them for granted since they were my parents. If they wanted to return to China, I could always stay home again till my kids were a little older. After a long cry, my parents decided to stay a few more years till Joseph was older since they really loved him and were attached to him.