My mom passed away at age 94.

My mom was a daughter of the fourth and the last generation of the salt merchant from her family. She was the last one to die of five siblings. It looked like the first generation that settled in Sichuan set the bar high for reaching the age of 93 - she had 10 kids and died in 1807 at her own family-owned "Old Oil House" while still working. My mom was diagonosed with dementia at 87. She thought I was her officemate and I played that role when I talked to her. My parents took me out of a family daycare to live with my grandparents when I was a year old, moved to my oldest uncle’s home when I was 5, back to live with my mom when I was about 10 since she was working full time and caring for my brother and sister all by herself. My dad was working in a different city. She needed help from me and I had been spoiled by my grandparents so I didn’t want to stay with her, and I had suddenly become the oldest child and I didn’t want all that new responsibility to watch my younger siblings. My mom joined my dad in Chengdu where I was born in 70s, my grandma came to live with us since my parents’ oil company offered better coverage for her. She died a month before I took National entry exam. I was so devastated that I had an argument with my mom and all her siblings as if I was the only daughter thinking that they did not do enough for my grandma so she died. I finally understood my mom when I became a mom and we became friends. My mom would not have made it to 94 without modern medical equipment.

my mom's oldest brother died a month short of 94. He was the second oldest, counting the first born who died although no one knew why except I learned that my grandpa was addicted to opium. It was a family secret no one wanted to talk about. Her father failed at his own salt business, salt equipment business, and the rice business from his wife's family side. His father's oldest brother took up the family responsilities to care for my grandfather's family. He provided housing, food, and 5 children's education. Her oldest brother gave up college after high school so he could work and help his younger sisters and brother go to college. My mom was the oldest girl and she was standing behind her father with shorts and boots, compared to her mom who had been subject to the old traditional foot binding and had not been allowed to go to school.

My mom met my father in Northwest University, both geology majors. My dad followed my mom back to Sichuan after college where they worked for a state-owned oil company for all of their work life. My mom retired at age 55 and my dad at age 60 as per normal retirement age in China. He was rehired for a few years for consulting before they could travel around the country and to the USA to see their grandchildren. They had a great time with us. My dad passed away in March 2000 at age 87. My mom had early stage dementia at the time. My dad's wish was to keep his personal aide for my mom, although my mom tried hard to kick her out but failed. The pandemic lockdown made us keep the aide too. Very soon my mom forgot that she used to hate her, and became fond of her. The two of them had some good years together while my brother worked. The aide was from the northern border between my dad's Shaanxi (陕西)and my mom's Sichuan(四川)provinces, a place called a door with sword passing（剑门关), a very important historical post to protect the region from northern invaders. Her family name is god (神), which was probably why my dad insisted to keep her. She has 4 children including an adopted son, who is a hotel manager in our city, with a family clan over 20. My mom was like a happy kid for many years, and loved sweets. My brother never married and has no kids, so he treated my mom like a child. To make sure my mom opened her mouth when it was time to eat, he would give my mom a piece of cake then a spoonfull of real food. She slowly lost the ability to recognize us, she mistook me as one of her coworkers in the office. I would pretend in that position and called her name for bonus cash, and her eyes would open wide. My oldest uncle's wife always got her full attention too. My mom's lifelong rival, she was such a good wife, mother, a great cook, and was able to make clothes for her three kids. By train, I used to take my brother and sisters, two of my cousins to her home every summer. My aunt worked full time too, shopping and cooking for her family of five, my grandma, and five of us daily for the summer 3 months. Something I could not imagine doing until I became a mom with three boys. My aunt is 96 this year. She still has a clear mind, and loves to play Majong. She walks at least an hour each day, also walks around inside with a walker. She said she is taking one day at time.

My sister went back to visit every year, and I have been back recently each year for the Chinese New Year. Her aide could go home as well since she has a big family. We went back this February, my mom was on the waiting list to go to the hospital since she needed to have deep suction for the mucus buildup, and IV antibiotics. The bed was availabe a few days before we left, the aide's friend in the hospital passed on the news. The aide told my brother and he confirmed with the doctor. My brother was happy to reward the aide's friend for the insider info but she refused. The aide is getting double-pay while staying in the hospital with mom. My sister and I preferred my mom to stay home, and take oral antibiotics instead since there are more germs in the hospital. Yes, she got sicker due to more infections. My brother said my mom might not be able to go home this time. My sister flew back, she tried to stop my brother sending my mom to ICU with ventilator but failed, so she was upset and changed her ticket and flew back to U.S. My mom was out of ICU and ventilator after 3 weeks for a short time, but then she was back on it again after a tracheotomy with a stoma but not in ICU, just in her regular hospital room with 2 other patients. My sister flew back again two weeks ago, 3rd time this year, she was trying to transfer my mom to a smaller hosptial with a private room to allow chanting but failed. The hospital moved one patient to a different room and the other patient went home instead. My mom has a private room with my mom's aide. My sister called her Buddhist groups in when she felt my mom's oxygen level dropped, and they stood around my mom's bed, chanting for my mom so she could go to heaven. But twice, next to her bed, her oxygen level shot up over 95%. She wanted to stay. Last time my sister called me early and I missed her since I was on the way home from work, when I called her back she did not pick up. So I called my brother, when I was having video chat with my brother in the hospital hallway, one of the chanting leader came over, she was telling my brother to take off my mom’s oxygen and tube feeding, and let my mom go! He was not happy and said wait until her doctor visits. This next morning, my brother said my mom was gone and he stopped oxygen slowly last night, and let her go. My sister has been in the hospital for 5 days 24/7 and she called him into the hospital 2-3 times a day, sometimes in the middle of the night. They were exhausted. He gave her up and let her go. My brother was very sad and he said after he turned off the oxygen, my mom’s breathing slowed down, her heart slowly stopped beating but restarted two more times on her own. She was worried about my brother. My sister took my mom to a private place for a wake, my brother dropped her off and carpooled others there, he said he chanted for 2 hours and went back home. My sister and others would continue chanting for her for the next 40 hours. Most of them are retired volunteers who came from 3 groups of Buddhism and Taoism. I became a Catholic and we have been praying for my mom in the church. My husband visited St Anthony's Shrine yesterday and lit votive candles and prayed for her peaceful passing to Heaven.

My company gave me a potted pink foxglove plant and a signed sympathy card, just as they did back in 2000 when my dad passed away. I have been working for the company for 25 years, the longest job I ever had. I was trained in enviromental biology and supposed to protect the environment, yet my brother and I both ended up working for transportation companies, using the oil my parents worked on all their working lives.

Til Death Do Us Part? Not really!

When we carefully look around, till death do us a part? We find connections between life and death everywhere. The Chinese care about their ancestors; they believe their ancestors always care for and protect them somehow. My grandfather was a salt merchant, the fourth generation and the last salt merchant. When I came to the USA alone for graduate school, I had applied to several schools, but ended up in Syracuse, NY. I did not know its salt history and I was never interested in history. Coming to America alone must have really made my ancestors worried. From their best knowledge, salt merchants could take care of me and my future family. I spent eight years there. We used to go to Onondaga Lake a lot, before and after my son was born, but I never noticed its salt history. Only this year, I learned about the salt history of Syracuse. The salt processing was almost the same as in Zigong, except my ancestors had natural gas to boil the brine.

My ancestor's knowledge obviously was not updated; they must have seen how difficult our life was in Syracuse. I was having an extremely challenging time during my first year; my English was not good enough to simply join a graduate forest biology school. I just had a tough time following the classes. I even reviewed textbooks before the classes and reviewed again afterwards. I was the only foreign student in all the classes. On top of that, my boyfriend in Japan with whom I had kept contact for four years got married. He gave up on us and did not trust American influences on me, and he did not want to come to America and give up his scholarship in Japan. I felt very lost and lonely. On the second day of my second year, Barb and Anthony showed up at my office door; Barb introduced Anthony to me. The three of us walked to our statistics class together. Soon after, Barb found a job and left the school. Anthony and I continued our classes together. I did not have much contact with the other students; they never had any interactions with people with foreign accents. They did not understand me and would not be able to help me. I asked one of the PhD students a question; he tried hard, stared into my eyes, and listened to what I said. I repeated it several times until he understood my question; sadly, he said he was sorry and did not know the answer. Anthony was different from the rest of the students. He was patient and gentle. He tilted his head so he could listen very carefully. He also lent me his notes from other classes and tried his best to help me. Only later, I learned that he had been a transient member of a religious community during his undergraduate studies; he went to Liberia and taught students there and in the New York city area. He came to graduate school to study plant biology, but more importantly helped me. I do not think I could have finished my degree or even to survive in Syracuse without him. The influence of my ancestors or 'fathers of Botany'? "Many of the world's most renowned and exciting ornamental plants-including magnolias, roses, rhododendrons, tree peonies, lilies, and blue poppies-have their origins in China. In the mid-nineteenth century, professional plant hunters were dispatched by nurseries and botanic gardens to collect living botanical specimens from China for cultivation in Europe, and it is these adventurers and nurserymen who are often credited with the explosive bloom of Chinese flowers in the West. But as Jane Kilpatrick shows in Fathers of Botany, the first Westerners to come upon and document this bounty were in fact cut from a different cloth: the clergy". https://www.abebooks.com/9781842465141/Fathers-Botany-discovery-Chinese-plants-1842465147/plp

I could not find a job after completing my master’s degree. My husband applied to many jobs without receiving any response. Our son was 2 years old. My ancestors must have known and guided us to apply for a Chinese flora editorial job. My husband mentioned to me at the beginning that he did not think he was qualified. I asked him to bring home the job description since he did not find anything yet and his postdoctoral position was only short-term. I carefully reviewed the job description and helped my husband apply by adding my own CV to show our range of experience. Later at his interview, we learned that they tried for two years to fill this position; it was the perfect fit. I only needed to help my husband in Chinese every now and then, not much at all since the first drafts were already in English. The Herbaria for the editorial center had the most Chinese plants collected in the early 1900s, many from my home province Sichuan. Many were collected by the 'Fathers of Botany.' Dr. Shiu-Ying Hu ( 胡秀英; 22 February 1910-22 May 2012), a Chinese botanist attempted to start the Flora of China in the 1950s, but except for her extensive card index and a number of manuscripts, did not gain momentum. One of her students ended up teaching at the graduate school in Syracuse where we had attended. Years later, Dr. Peter H. Raven, who himself was born in Shanghai in 1936, enabled the Flora of China to finally succeed. "In 1996 Raven, Axelrod, and Al-Shehbaz wrote a paper on the history of the modern flora of China, Europe, and the continental United States. They said that the three regions have approximately the same geographic area, yet China has two times the number of species as the United States, and three times as many as Europe. They asserted that all three regions had essentially the same flora as of 15 million years ago, but China came to possess the most species because of three reasons. First, China has a tropical rain forest. Second, there is an unbroken gradient of vegetation from the tropical rain forest to "boreal coniferous forests that has persisted and afforded habitats characterized by equable climates during the last 15 million years, when massive extinctions were taking place elsewhere in the Northern Hemisphere...such continuity is interrupted in North America by the Gulf of Mexico and in Europe by the Alps, the Mediterranean, and the Sahara Desert." The third reason was due to the impact of the Indian subcontinent with Asia starting 50 million years ago, making a "highly dissected, elevated geography."https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_H._Raven".

I needed to work in order for us to be able to afford the house we wanted. With his supervisor's help, the library offered me a part time job, still I needed someone to watch my 2 years old son. I did look into daycare, it cost more than I could make. No one except Anthony's 88 years old grandmother could come to help us watch my son. Nana helped us move into our new house, I thought I made it happen on my own but more players were involved. Anthony has been searching his side of family history for many years now, a recent finding was surprising that it proved not only my side ancestors helped. Anthony's side as well. The oldest house in my city is the Phineas Upham House is less than a mile away from our house, Lt. Phineas Upham was husband of first cousin 10x removed of wife of brother in law of 1st cousin 2xremoved. This person has distance conections on Nana's family tree.

“一日夫妻，百世姻缘。百世修来同船渡，千世修来共枕眠《增广贤文》means "One hundred years of cultivation one can sit in the same boat, and one thousand years of cultivation can lead to marriage." This phrase comes from the Ming Dynasty book "Zengguang Xianwen." Since ancient times, the Chinese believed in reincarnation, people had past, present, and future lives. That is why there is a saying that "a couple for one day, a marriage for a hundred generations," which means that we can be a husband and wife for one day in this life, which is a blessing from a hundred lives of cultivation. There are also similar words: "The Buddha said: Looking back five hundred times in the previous life, only in exchange for passing by in this life." This sentence comes from "Looking Back" by the modern poet Xi Murong (席慕蓉). 一日夫妻百日恩 means one day husband and wife means hundred days gratefulness. A day together as husband and wife means endless devotion the rest of your life; one night of love is worth a hundred of friendship. DNA studies of current human populations and archaeological remains added much more history for both of us. I knew I was related to Native Americans, but never thought I was related to Canadian Inuits (Dorset 200 AD, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorset_culture ), and an indigenous Brazilian tribe (Botocudo, 1600 AD, https://dna-explained.com/2015/07/02/botocudo-ancient-remains-from-brazil/ ). I was even more surprised that Anthony and I share the same ancient relative in the remains of a 7th Crusade battle in Lebanon. Also, ancient relatives from both of our families left their bones at Skeleton Lake in the Himalaya (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roopkund) at nearly the same time, my side from 1800 AD (genetic distance 20.168), and Anthony’s side from 1805 AD (genetic distances for two individuals 21.168 and 25.838).

My mom was released from the hospital while her sister JuMing (举铭)died at home.

My mom turned 91 this past March and she has been free from taking any pills since her dementia. Her blood pressure was fine since she didn’t have to worry about anything. I chat with her every week and she just looks at me most of the time, and sometimes she would make comments that I do not understand.

    One of her routines is to read newspapers, her generation gets their information from newspapers. She could not read any words now, but an old habit is to hold a newspaper, sometimes even upside down.

    She forgot about my father's aide that she used to hate; she accepted her as someone familiar, rather than a stranger. They shares the same bedroom. Her aide takes her out everyday to meet other coworkers downstairs since they worked and lived together all their life. Most residents of the building are seniors with or without their adult children, a lot of  aides also get a chance to gather, to chat with each other, and sometimes even play Mahjong on the garden table, while all of the seniors in their care sit in a circle in their wheelchairs. Some seniors can talk to each other, while others like my mom just watch. She could not make conversation anymore. But she knows them and fears strangers. 

    My mom has swallowing problems due to her dementia. Feeding her has been a problem. She does not open her mouth. My brother turns his head every time he hears my mom choking on her food. He said that when the aide went back home, he would be the one to take care of my mom. It takes him over 40 minutes to feed her, but the aide was always in a hurry because she wants to take my mom outside so the aide could meet the other aides in the garden.  My brother is still working 24-hour or 48-hour shifts at the airport so he does not have to work daily. I worry about his health; he said he could sleep there since the airport was not busy. When he is not working, he stays at home to watch over my mom. I tried to tell him to go out somewhere and take a vacation, since the aide is there 24/7.   I said our mom is 91 and she could leave us any time, so you have to prepare for it, but he did not say a word, but was in tears.  He is the only one there taking care about my mom since my sister and I could not travel to China since the Pandemic started in 1999.  

    This year, my mom was in the hospital twice already due to aspiration pneumonia. Her aide had to feed her slowly with thicker liquid food.   My mom held the food in her mouth and forgot how to swallow.  The day before Chengdu locked down on September 1st, she was choking on her food and threw up most of it. She had a seizure at 3 AM and my brother and her aide took her to the hospital.  She was having another aspiration pneumonia. Due to COVID testing, they waited four hours for the result.  

 The capital of Sichuan province, Chengdu, locked down its 21 million residents to contain the Covid outbreak. Chengdu is the biggest city to shut down since Shanghai’s awful two-month lockdown earlier this year. The move upset the lives of millions of people and businesses, affecting China’s economy and beyond. The Wuhan Institute Of Virology thought they were studying coronavirus with the USA by collecting thousands of bats from caves all over China over the past decade, resulting in a big outbreak and they had no clue about how to make effective vaccines. They also refused to buy effective vaccines for the country's 1.4 billion people; instead, they chose to lockdown the whole country, whole cities one by one and test millions each day; they pulled out every positive case to isolation by force.  27 individuals died when a bus transporting them to a COVID-19 quarantine facility crashed in southwest Guizhou.

    My brother could not go to the hospital to see my mom; her infection was under control after 10 days hospital stay. We were talking about how to change her feeding tube at home. 

    Then she was infected again, this time worse than before. Three other patients sharing her room passed away, and then she was the only one left. Her low grade fever kept coming back. All of the antibiotics on the list had been used except one, Colistin, also known as polymyxin E. The hospital did not have it in stock; my brother had to apply and go through obtaining layers of leaders approvals. All of the other antibiotics were cheap, a couple hundred yuan but this one was over 8000/day for 3 doses. She ended up using 4 doses per day for 10 days. The aide is with her 24/7, tube feeding her through her nose, changing her diapers and cleaning her, reporting to her nurses and doctors. My brother pays her 300/day plus food in the hospital. Normally she gets 150/day, 300 on weekends and holidays. Since my brother is single, he does work on weekends and holidays a lot. My mom's monthly pension is only 4000. Her insurance had an app setup on my brother's phone, since my brother could not get inside of the hospial, he had to give his phone to the nurse to videotape my mom. My brother had to pay all of the expenses first, then get reimbursed by the insurance company. I asked him if my sister and I could send money over, he said NO. We do not know how much he paid for my dad's expenses, but we know our mom does not qualify for a lot of benefits compared to my dad. My dad could stay in a 2-person room, my mom could not even go there even though there are vacant rooms. My mom stayed in a room for four patients, plus an aide at each patient's bedside. That is 8 persons, without any private bathroom inside; they all had to go out of the room to use public bathrooms. The other three patients died soon after.  

    My sister was ready to request her favorite Buddhist Tzu Chi (慈濟) to ask them to help my mom reach a pure land Sukhavati.  We have been praying for my mom in our Catholic church and requested prayers from Carmelite communities worldwide.  Jonathan and Richard get regular updates from me, I use Free video WeChat with my brother daily, except when he is working. I caught him smoking, he used to hide from me by putting down his phone and sometimes I saw smoke. I asked him, "smoking again?" He picked up the phone and smiled and said he smokes much less now. Now he was smoking while talking to me, and did not even care any more. I really worry about him. I told him to stop smoking. I asked him to come to US so no one would give him cigarettes, since there is no cigarette-sharing culture in US. My father quit when he came to our home; he brought 2 cartoons but did not even smoke 2 packs. He had to go outside to smoke alone. He quit 'cold turkey' at age 70s. He then told every one of his smoking colleagues to quit, since he stopped coughing in the morning, and had much more strength. My brother could hop on Air China to come to US for free but he has never visited here, not even once. I worry about him.  I could feel my mom has tried her best to keep my brother company. Not being able to see my brother, not being able to video WeChat with my sister and me must have been very hard on her. My mom was making great progress while my oldest uncle's wife turned 93, she moved to Shenzhen, the southern coastal city of Fujian. Her son bought a separate condo for her, her retired daughter and son took turns to stay with her, so she has someone with her 24/7. She loves playing MaJong and she has been playing it since she retired at age 55. She tried to join the local senior Majong club but the club refused her because she was too old. So her son and daughter play Majong with her at home, but Majong needs four persons per table, just two is really difficult. So she gradually lost interest. Since she has a pinched nerve, sitting down a long time is really not good for her. Her children took her downstairs to walk for one hour every day. Shenzhen's summer is no fun walking, especially when walking an hour. Her son and daughter were so hot and sweating, but she was not hot! Not hot at all! She sometimes needs to take a sleeping pill, although most prescription drugs do not need a prescription to buy in any drug store, sleeping pills are a controlled medicine. Her son could only get them for seven days at a time, plus he did not think it was good for her so he switched the sleeping pills with vitamins. Afer a while, her mom started to complain, "what kind of sleeping pill was this? it does not work. Can you ask the doctor to prescribe a different kind of sleeping pill"? We think she should be able to take sleeping pills at her age, since she does not really take any other pills.

My mom's sister died in her sleep at home a few days ago, while my mom was ready to be released from the hospital. She was the number 7 sister in the big Guan family and my mom is number 6. She was a few days short of 88. She graduated from China's University of Geosiences in Beijing, the same university from which the 6th Premier Wen Jiabao graduated. She spent all her life working in the Sichuan Institute of Geology & Mineral Resources. Compared to my parents working for the oil company, she was really poor since they do research, then turn over whatever they found to the industries. Premier Wen Jiabao made the change to the Sichuan Bureau of Geology & Mineral Resources, they were then better than our parents' oil company. Since Sichuan produces most natural gas, but Russian gas took a big piece away from them, and they were the only one in town before. My aunt received a good retirement but she felt cheated for her life. She wasted a lot of her life in politics, she also lost her husband from cancer. When she was introduced to Falun Gong, she completely dove into it. She did not care about anything else except Falun Gong. She was no long shopping or cooking for her working kids. All she talked about was to ask people to join Falun Gong, my mom was interested in the beginning, but lost interest after a while. She was upset with her and her brother, starting her complaints to the Communist Party. My uncle said to her that she benefited from the Communist party, her education, job, housing, pension, free health care, plus she was a lifelong member of Communist party, why she turned her back against it. She was on her own for a few years, practiced Falun Gong meditations all day long, refused her high blood presure, cholesterol medicine till she collapsed one day. She almost died, she was really weak, restricted at home after. She gradually got into Buddhist meditation and gave up Falun Gong. She had a stroke last year which made her even worse. The last gathering right before my oldest uncle died in 2000. She was in blue in photo.

My brother who has a car helped her daughter and son, just the three of them, since none of them were married, and had no children either, and since China was still locked down, and gatherings were not encouraged. My brother helping them for two days at the crematorium. Then my brother went to the hospital to take my mom home. My mom was pleased to come home and she was talking to my brother. My brother was in a much better mood as well. He bought an oxygen machine for my mom too. Hoping my mom could recover soon and start walking again. She was in the hosptial for over one month, from August 31st to October 9th. My mom is the only survivor of her five siblings.

The total cost of my mom's hospital stay was 190,000 yuan. The Chinese need to pay the hospital cash and then get reimbursed by their insurance, the many different levels that hospitals do not undertake. My mom paid out of her pocket 12000 yuan, paid her aide 13000 yuan who was with her 24/7. Admittedly, most was from my brother since my mom only gets 4000/month, not even enough for her aide. Now my mom has to live with the feeding tube through her nose from now on. Her tube needs to be changed every 3 weeks. Her aide and my brother cook the normal food and blend it first, then use a big syringe to force them in, washing the tube with clean water afterward. Her maide loves the color red, like most farmers in China. She even changed my dad's white underwear to red color. My mom loves clapping her hands whenever you ask and she plays with her toys too. Thanks to the free WeChat, I could have a videochat with her at night, which is her morning. I play a video speaking Zigong dialect by a Chinese person in France and using French. The best and closest to her which I could find for her, and even the girl looks like one of our cousins. My mom loves it, she stares at it and I play it over and over again. Sometimes I also play the songs she used to love. We all had changed our dialect to the Chengdu dialect. Each place has their own dialect, so even when we speak Mandarin, one can tell where you from by your accent. We all understand our own dialect, might not be able to speak anymore. I used to be able to speak Zigong dalect, and changed to Nanchong dialect when I joined my mom's workplace there, and then changed to Chengdu dialect. Living overseas most of my life now, my accent changed again, so it is mixed, and some even think I have a Taiwan accent. Maybe influenced by my sister's family from Taiwan.

My mom is getting stronger again, my brother could hold her hands walking now, she loves to follow my brother clapping her hands, and of course reading the newspaper. She could stare at the paper for half an hour.

Reborn - Chongxi, or Jianxi (冲喜, 见喜)

"Chongxi', or "Jianxi" is a kind of folk belief behavior in Asian countries such as China and India. Let marriage chase the bad luck and diseases away, reborn. Under the pandemic a year ago, my father, my oldest uncle, and my husband's great aunt Rose passed away. All 3 died a month before their birthday, 87,94, and 105, respectively. We did not have any family gatherings, everything was online through Zoom, Faceboook, or WeChat.

During the lockdown for the Pandemic, I started working from home every other day to my office. After becoming fully vaccinated, I went back to work in my office full-time this past May. My oldest son Jonathan was a second-year resident in a hospital in New York State, and he was working in the emergency room at the time.

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Richard was still a medical student doing his rotations, so he was well protected and was not exposed to Covid-19. He was having fun learning.

Joe was working in a local pharmacy while studying online; he and his girlfriend were very busy providing COVID vaccine shots in their respective pharmacies, an appointment every 15 minutes.

A wedding is a sign of hope and rebirth. My father's side of the family celebrated the first wedding during the pandemic this past May. My father's generation poem: 子宗国景方,原文肇自唐, 嘉庆创继业, 树德建朝纲, 长龙传家远, 学耕互商联. My father is 文， I am 肇，this one is 自。韩自强(means Self-improvement) The same generation with my children.

Richard and Paola's wedding was celebrated on June 26th. They both graduated from Middleberry College, met while voluteering at the Open Door Clinic, a free health clinic for uninsured and under-insured adults in Addison County, Vermont. Paola continued working for the clinic after graduation and Richard volunteered when he was free. At the same time, she recruited her own sister, a junior at Harvard University, to volunteer for the Clinic too. They brought vaccines to remote farms and set up vaccination sites. Together, they contributed to Vermont having the highest vaccination rate in the country and the lowest Covid infections as well. It was the first time our family of five gathered in one place since the Pandemic, Jonathan almost did not make it since he had a graduatation to attend on Friday, and had to be in the hospital at 6 AM on Monday. He was able to travel on Friday and give his speach on Zoom for the graduation online and flew back on Sunday morning. I was so pleased to see my favorite flower Magnolia × alba. the pleasantly fragrant flower used and arranged together to be worn by brides during the traditional wedding ceremony. I bought all of the shopkeeper's supply for the day.

The 3rd marriage this year was a surprise; my sister called and told me that her brother-in-law just got married again. She was very proud to tell me that she made this happen without any effort. One of her co-workers was asking if there was any suitable man for her. She just mentioned that her brother-in-law was single again after a divorce many years ago. The next thing was that her coworker wanted to visit her home. So while my sister prepared a dinner for her, she was wandering around the house looking at photos. My sister was not aware of her intention until she asked who was your brother-in-law in the photo. My sister pointed to him in the photo. Her coworker said, "he looks good". My sister was surprised that she wanted to see her brother-in-law James in person. They met and things took off from there; the next thing was that they got married. James' mother was so happy that her son was happy again and lost 7lbs in a very short time. The whole family had a celebration in a restaurant to welcome the new bride. The bride is the oldest in her family, she has 2 younger brothers, one got the family orchard and the other got the family business. She had earlier married into her husband's family, eventually divorcing without any children. James and his first wife tried to have a child in his first marriage but failed, then she tried artificial insemination and got pregnant with a boy. It was a natural birth at full term but the doctor told them the boy died the second day. It was a big blow for them and her mom since her mom had already moved into their home and was ready to take care of her grandson. Then James and his wife divorced. If they had sold the house, none of them could afford to buy another one just like this one. So her mom suggested that they keep the house, living their own way of life, James vs his ex-wife and mother-in-law under the same roof. It looked as if his first wife wanted to prove herself, so she went out and got herself pregnant again. This time with a poor Spanish-speaking young man, but her mom would not accept the poor man as her husband. Very soon, she brought her son home and the father never showed up, not even once. James accepted the boy as his own, the family of four lived happily for many years. Two years ago, her mom passed away from cancer. Her mom wanted to see her daughter married. She did manage to find another Chinese man who accepted her son and with her dying mom's approval. James kept good relationships with them since they all love this boy. When James told them he got married, his ex-wife told him that she wanted half of his house even though she did not make a single payment. James took out a loan and paid his ex-wife for her half. Together with his new wife, they will pay the loan back together.

My Oldest Uncle Guan, Ju -Jin Passed Away at age 93

My oldest uncle Guan, Ju Jin (官举晶, #10 in boys) was born on January 16th, 1927, passed away on November 19th at 3:58 PM 2020, two months short from his 94th birthday. The last time I was able to talk to him was in August when his youngest son from Shenzhen was visiting. His son give him his cell phone to see me through WeChat. He woke up from his nap on the couch, and he repeatedly called my name "Ying, Ying, is that you?". He was really clear compared to my mom. I took a sreen shot of him.

His son told me that he was planning to take his parents to Chengdu to visit my mom and aunt in September. I was not sure it was a good idia since we were still under the Pandemic, his dad was 93 and his mom was 91, 3.5 hours drive to my city. He insisted to let them gather before the winter, since there was no COVID-19 in SW part of China except for a few imported ones back in February. All life had been back to normal for more than 6 months. The reunion was very emotional, my aunt was the youngest of 4, she cried the most. My uncle did not recognize my mom in the restaurant, but he was able to recognize my mom after they came back home. He started to cry and asked why my mom lost so much weight. Her face used to be very full, my 89 years old mom was scared from that many strangers around. She did not recognize her older brother. They drove home after dinner the same day.

I talk to my mom every week via WeChat, she holds my brother's cell phone and stares at me most of the time. She does not talk, but refuses to let the phone go until she closes her eyes napping. If my brother takes the phone away from her, she wakes up and looks at me again. I just kept talking to her, usually for an hour without her saying anything. Since she just saw her older brother and his wife, and my mom's and uncles' younger sister, I started to ask her about them. I mentioned her brother's wife, the best cook in the family. I asked my mom if she could go shopping so her brother's wife could cook. She did not say anthing, so I said maybe it is best to let her shop since she was the one who was going to cook, just tell her what dishes she likes to eat. Spicy chicken or rabbit were my mom's favorite dishes. All of a sudden, my mom started to talk, she asked my brother to give my aunt money so she could go shopping. She and my brother started a conversation. That was amazing, since she had not talked in full sentences for a long time. She remembered her oldest brother, who gave up his college education to work to support the whole family. He gave every penny he earned to my grandmother, to take care of her 5 kids and disabled bedridden husband. He refused to get married so he could support all of his 3 sisters and his brother in college.

His son said his dad could still eat more than he could at age of 93. Every time he came home, he loved to take his parents out to enjoy their favorite food. He did not show any sickness at all. He took a shower the night before, his wife found him unresponsive in the morning. My uncle was survived by his wife, a daughter and two sons, 3 granddaughers and 1 grandson. His oldest son, a professor at the University of Liverpool, 2 granddaughters and great granddaughter would not be able to go back since UK was still in full lockdown. I did not go to say goodbye to my father in March, now I lost my loving uncle who was my acting father for my first 9 years. I do not remember him ever raising his voice to his children or me. He used to walk an hour each way to work, he thought it was a very good way to excercise. I used to be very picky about food; he used to tell me eat the same amount of food no matter I liked it or not. It is good for my health. Most people eat more for something they like, less or none if not liked.

None of his children live nearby, he and his wife have a woman in her 60s to help them out. They are just so content to live their simple life. I was there 2 years ago, I was sorry that I did not make it there last year since my father was so sick in the hospital. I was planning to visit them this year. I guess it is good that he did not suffer much or at least not suffer long before his death. He had such a good life and forever remains an example for us.